‘Hitch’ With Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, and Mina Kimes
July 21, 2026 · Hitch (2005) · Comedy · Romance · 2:13:11 · ▶ Listen on Spotify
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Most Rewatchable Scene
Bill Simmons▶ 42:13The opening — Will Smith running through the Hitch tips/basic principles ('no woman wakes up saying god I hope I don't get swept off my feet today'); then walks the rundown: the bar scene, Albert quitting in the boardroom, meeting Eva Mendes/Chip, jet skiing on the Hudson.
Mina Kimes▶ 19:17The scene where Will Smith teaches Kevin James's character how to dance ('warming the fire,' 'making the pizza,' 'Q-tip'), and watching Will Smith try not to laugh/break as the straight man.
Mina Kimes▶ 51:44The Will Smith-coaching-Kevin James physical comedy — Smith giving advice while Albert fumbles wooing Allegra (e.g., hiding behind the door in the boardroom scene): 'that's the best one out of all of them moments in the movie.'
Van Lathan▶ 49:52Championed the bar scene specifically for Paula Patton's $20-bill moment ('no way to talk about that bar scene and not talk about the $20 girl... gorgeous') — amazed she didn't become a bigger star; no single scene declared as his pick.
Den of Thieves Benihana Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:42The jet skiing on the Hudson sequence — 'I would also give that Den of Thieves Benihana': a kind of New York scene he'd never seen in a movie, shot less than four years after 9/11 when the city was coming back; 'made me want to jet ski.'
Great Shot Gordo Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:42The Den of Thieves Benihana scene - a New York scene he'd never seen depicted like that in a movie before, made shortly after 9/11
What's Aged the Best
Bill Simmons▶ 1:11:55The needle drops/soundtrack (Usher, John Legend, Motown hits) — highlights it as a great needle-drop movie
Mina Kimes▶ 1:09:55The way Will Smith (as Hitch) talks about women and to women — better sexual politics than a lot of men today; we need a 'Hitch 2.0' to counter incel/red-pill manosphere culture
Van Lathan▶ 1:10:18Riffed comedically on how a modern 'Hitch' would be corrupted by red-pill/sub-stack grifter culture, agreeing with Mina's point rather than giving a separate distinct pick; also praised the needle drops
Is There a Better Title?
Bill Simmons▶ 1:14:05Rejects the working title 'The Last First Kiss' and affirms 'Hitch' is a perfect title as-is
Butch's Girlfriend Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:19:43The kissing lesson scene between Will Smith's character and Kevin James, which he finds odd and drags on too long
Mina Kimes▶ 1:20:58Says she doesn't think there are any real weak links among the core actors; more focused on 'most 2005' observation about the thriving tabloid newspaper office than naming a weak-link scene
Van Lathan▶ 1:17:49The lack of romantic chemistry between Will Smith and Eva Mendez throughout the film; notes he thinks the film's best chemistry is actually between Will Smith and Kevin James
Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:29:01Eva Mendes (from 2 Fast 2 Furious) is the best female lead of the entire Fast and Furious franchise and should have been brought back as a mainstay
Mina Kimes▶ 1:26:00Men in Black, ID4, Bad Boys, and Hitch are Will Smith's top movies with Focus close behind; Will Smith was the 'MVP' of Hitch, elevating it more than his other films
Van Lathan▶ 1:25:49Hitch is the movie most indicative of Will Smith's stardom, and could be argued as his best performance
Casting What-Ifs
Bill Simmons▶ 1:31:04Notes Patton Oswalt was second choice for Kevin James's role in Hitch; shares casting trivia (Alexander Skarsgård's cameo as tabloid boyfriend, his high school friend Scott Carino as Michelle Pfeiffer's dead husband in What Lies Beneath, Ali Larter providing face/body shots for fake starlet); floats Stanley Tucci as an alternate for Ava Mendez's boss instead of the actor cast; raises the hypothetical of Will Ferrell playing the Kevin James part in Hitch.
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:31:12Confirms Patton Oswalt was also in King of Queens with Kevin James, playing his brother; brings up Seth Rogen's actual pairing with Charlize Theron in Long Shot as a real-world parallel to the hypothetical.
Mina Kimes▶ 1:31:37Shares that Alexander Skarsgård was devastated his scenes were cut from Hitch; notes Deion Waiters could play Vance Munson; points out Joel Otrulio's memorable scene; floats Josh Gad as a modern equivalent to Kevin James's type and jokes Seth Rogen could be coached by Will Smith to go after a Charlize Theron type, referencing 'Long Shot'.
Van Lathan▶ 1:31:10Reacts negatively to Patton Oswalt idea ('that's not it'); on Will Ferrell replacing Kevin James, says it works comedically but Ferrell (6'5) is too tall compared to Will Smith (6'3), undermining the 'little bro' dynamic; discusses lack of a modern 'funny athletic fat guy' archetype (mentions Chris Farley, Kevin James, Jack Black as past examples, Josh Gad as a maybe).
Big Kahuna Burger Award
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:34:47The scene where the character sips Benadryl through a straw while drunk, walking through the park
Apex Mountain
Bill Simmons▶ 1:41:34Debates multiple actors: says no to Will Smith as apex here; agrees Eva Mendes is near her apex; says yes for Kevin James (this movie sets up his later career like Mall Cop); says no for Ellis Island/history being apex; calls it a great early post-9/11 'New York is back' movie; notes Cruise is basically doing a Will Smith/Frank TJ Mackey type role
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:44:15Discusses the hair waxing/40-Year-Old Virgin comparison timing, and debates whether Tom Hanks could have played Albert Brennaman (says he's too handsome)
Mina Kimes▶ 1:41:37For the actress in question (implied Rosario Dawson or similar), says late 90s Men in Black era was her peak, calls this movie 'the biggest movie she's ever been in' and a good performance/win for her
Van Lathan▶ 1:44:56Questions whether Mall Cop was a big hit, then agrees this movie sets up Mall Cop; picks Spider-Man as the closest comparable 'New York is back' post-9/11 movie
Probably Unanswerable Questions
Bill Simmons▶ 1:48:08Hitch becomes even more famous from the scandal, writes a $2 million book, does the media rounds, and eventually builds a podcast empire (jokingly comparing it to Dr. Drew's 'Unwell Network'), making $50 million a year.
Mina Kimes▶ 1:47:39Raises whether Hitch still works as 'date doctor' after being exposed and how Kevin James's character earns a living after quitting; concludes he doesn't really quit since he's rehired, and argues secrecy isn't fundamental to his job since it's 2005 and people didn't have everything on each other, so he could still work with clients.
Van Lathan▶ 1:47:52Argues Hitch's exposure blows up his whole business/reputation and that his relationship with Eva Mendez's character wouldn't realistically work out, though concedes maybe he rehabilitates the 'date doctor' persona into a positive brand.
Picking Nits
Bill Simmons▶ 1:49:18Albert's characterization is inconsistent - he's a horrible dancer despite being athletic; also questions how Hitch's torn shirt got fixed by a cab driver, and finds it odd Allegra tells Hitch to keep Ava Mendez away from the wedding instead of just inviting her since it wouldn't matter
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:49:49Points out Kevin James is actually athletic and coordinated in real life, but the character of Albert is written/intended to not be coordinated, creating an inconsistency
Mina Kimes▶ 1:52:13Doesn't understand what the gay bestie/gossip coworker's actual job at the newspaper is, and nitpicks that women don't eat whipped cream straight from the can/bottle like Allegra does in the movie - calls it a fake 'guy's idea of women' trope
Van Lathan▶ 1:51:19Nitpicks that the gossip column boss doesn't care at all about work-life balance or personal relationships, just wants the story no matter what it destroys
Sequel/Prequel/Limited Series/Remake
Bill Simmons▶ 1:54:25Skeptical Will Smith can carry a movie again as a likeable lead now; thinks he can only play past characters (implicitly doubting a Hitch sequel would work)
Mina Kimes▶ 1:53:31Thinks Will Smith is now too old for Hitch-style shenanigans/roles, making a sequel tricky
Van Lathan▶ 1:53:20Wants a Hitch sequel with Will Smith, arguing it fits the current dating climate perfectly
Is This Movie Better With
Bill Simmons▶ 1:55:28Suggests maybe Ted Levine (as a Hitch client) and jokes 'that should be Hitch too - he gets Jame Gumb as a client'
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:55:03Couldn't come up with anybody definitive, but riffs on Ted Levine getting advice from Hitch as a funny hypothetical
Best Double Feature
Bill Simmons▶ 2:03:26Focus, pairing with related films; also praises the kids and parents in the movie
Who Won the Movie
Bill Simmons▶ 2:04:47Notes Will Smith was already 'winning' via his career/movies generally, but this movie was Kevin James's big breakout, complicating the simple 'who won' framing
Van Lathan▶ 2:04:14Will Smith wins the movie, but Kevin James comes razor thin close (compares to Arnold in True Lies still winning)
Movies Referenced (60)
Directors Referenced (3)
Kevin Smith
4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mina Kimes · Known for Clerks, Chasing Amy▶ 19:52IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Andy Tennant
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Fool's Gold, Hitch, Sweet Home Alabama▶ 35:38IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Kevin Costner
1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Dances with Wolves, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves▶ 6:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Actors Referenced (36)
LeBron James
12 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan · Known for Hustle▶ 1:38:30IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Will Smith
9 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, Mina Kimes · Known for Men in Black, I Am Legend▶ 1:33:18IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Bill Craig
5 mentions · Craig Horlbeck, Bill Simmons, Van Lathan▶ 1:34:21IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Jack Black
4 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons · Known for High Fidelity, School of Rock, Nacho Libre▶ 1:33:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Jeffrey Donovan
4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mina Kimes · Known for Changeling, Sicario: Day of the Soldado▶ 1:04:58IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Patton Oswalt
4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Craig Horlbeck · Known for Young Adult, Ratatouille, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World▶ 1:31:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Will Ferrell
4 mentions · Mina Kimes, Bill Simmons, Van Lathan · Known for Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Blades of Glory▶ 1:32:57IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Seth Rogen
3 mentions · Mina Kimes, Van Lathan · Known for This Is the End, Superbad, Pineapple Express▶ 1:34:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Tom Cruise
3 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons · Known for Top Gun, Mission: Impossible II, Minority Report▶ 1:46:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Writers Referenced (2)
John Lasseter
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Toy Story 2, A Bug's Life, Cars▶ 1:36:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗