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‘Commando’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Kyle Brandt

March 29, 2021 · Commando (1985) · Action · Adventure · Thriller · 1:27:19 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill SimmonsVal Verde is a fictional South American country used in multiple movies to avoid offending real countries; $9 million budget, made $57.5 million; Arnold vs Stallone rivalry began in mid-80s; Roger Ebert didn't review but gave thumbs up on Siskel & Ebert show▶ 12:30
Kyle BrandtTeam Schwarzenegger for life - saw Commando first so was immediately Arnold team; mentions Last Action Hero reference where Stallone is on Terminator poster▶ 14:07
Shea SerranoTeam Stallone - came across Rocky franchise first, still loyal even through bad recent Rambo movie about Mexican cartel/sex trafficking▶ 14:48

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill SimmonsThe daughter kidnapping scene, highlighting the wood chopping montage, father-daughter montage, her hiding under the bed, and Arnold's Chevy Blazer chase down the hill▶ 19:38
Bill SimmonsArnold escaping from the plane - described as everything he wants from comedy and unintentional comedy at the same time▶ 24:06
Kyle BrandtParticipated in discussion of the daughter kidnapping scene, noting similarities to Taken and critiquing the logic of Arnold's failed rescue attempt▶ 21:16
Shea SerranoDiscussed the daughter kidnapping scene, noting the excessive violence compared to modern action movies and correcting that Arnold drives a Chevy Blazer, not Ford Bronco▶ 22:56

Picking Nits

Bill SimmonsThe plane jump scene is illogical - Arnold jumps from high altitude like a skydive but lands like he was dropped seven feet, and they should have had him land in water▶ 26:45
Kyle BrandtThe Hawaiian shirt guy should have put Matrix in the window seat and taken the aisle seat himself to prevent escape, but he wanted the window seat for the 11-hour flight▶ 25:55
Shea SerranoPoor dummy/mannequin work when Matrix jumps from the plane - it's obviously just a mannequin falling in the wide shot▶ 27:05

What's Aged the Best

Bill SimmonsAgrees with Rae Dawn Chong casting, noting it was inspired casting that broke from typical 'white girl du jour' choices, and discusses the novelty of her being Tommy Chong's daughter in the mid-80s▶ 53:30
Kyle BrandtRae Dawn Chong - her casting as a woman of color who kicks ass, fires a rocket, with no romantic subplot with Arnold, especially given they cut a romantic scene due to concerns about Southern cinema reception of interracial romance▶ 52:20
Shea SerranoSupports the Rae Dawn Chong discussion, sharing anecdote about assuming she was Mexican and noting she's considered an icon in the Mexican community▶ 54:41

Casting What-Ifs

Bill SimmonsGene SimmonsListed several casting alternatives: Gene Simmons and Nick Nolte were considered for Arnold's role, Wings Hauser was fired as Bennett and replaced by Vernon Wells, Raul Julia was wanted for Arias instead of Dan Hedaya, and John McTiernan turned down directing to do Predator instead▶ 59:49

Joey Pants Award

Bill SimmonsDavid Patrick KellyDavid Patrick Kelly - calls him 'one of the best ever in this category', the gang leader from The Warriors who was Luther in 48 Hours▶ 1:00:54
Kyle BrandtSharon WyattThe unnamed flight attendant who tells Matrix the fight will be exactly 11 hours - describes her other roles including Bruce Willis's wife in Last Boy Scout and Teela in the He-Man movie▶ 1:01:19

Dion Waiters Award

Bill SimmonsBill DukeBill Duke - plays 12 minutes but has huge impact, comparing his performance to having 20 rebounds, 7 blocks, 2 threes in basketball terms▶ 1:03:44
Kyle BrandtThe security guard at the mall who delivers the line 'six foot two brown hair and one gigantic motherfucker' - described as playing 12 seconds but hitting two 35-foot three pointers▶ 1:04:29
Shea SerranoBill DukeAgrees that Bill Duke is great and explains that to win this award you don't have to be outrageous, you can just be good at it▶ 1:04:01

Apex Mountain

Bill SimmonsRae Dawn ChongArnold: No, Rae Dawn Chong: Yes, Alyssa Milano: debated between Who's the Boss and Charmed, Bill Duke: No, Vernon Wells: Yes (this movie over Mad Max or Weird Science), yellow Porsches: Yes, missile launchers/bazookas: Yes▶ 1:10:15
Kyle BrandtVernon WellsAlyssa Milano is known for Who's the Boss primarily, Vernon Wells yes for this movie, added chainmail as apex mountain candidate due to Bennett's ridiculous appearance▶ 1:10:57
Shea SerranoRae Dawn ChongRae Dawn Chong: Yes (this is what she's known for), Vernon Wells: Yes (this is the one you remember and reference)▶ 1:10:19

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill SimmonsAsks multiple questions: why no Commando 2, what happens after they get on the plane (legal consequences), where do they go (his lair or her house), and compares missed sequel opportunities▶ 1:23:16
Kyle BrandtWonders about post-movie consequences - what charges they face, Ray Dawn might be in serious trouble for killing cops with rocket launcher, questions if there's a romantic future between Ray Dawn and Arnold▶ 1:23:25
Shea SerranoCurious about why no Commando 2 was made, disagrees about romance angle - thinks Ray Dawn just stuck through it to see who the girl was rather than falling in love▶ 1:23:18

Who Won the Movie

Movies Referenced (46)

Title (year)LinksMentionsMentioned byFirst
Predator (1987)IMDb ↗Lb ↗15Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Shea Serrano▶ 3:46
First Blood (1982)IMDb ↗Lb ↗10Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Shea Serrano▶ 5:32
Blade (1998)IMDb ↗Lb ↗9Kyle Brandt, Shea Serrano▶ 3:17
Point Break (1991)IMDb ↗Lb ↗8Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 59:02
Rambo (2008)IMDb ↗Lb ↗8Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 5:32
Coming to America (1988)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons▶ 16:02
John Wick (2014)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 22:48
The Terminator (1984)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons▶ 4:17
Sully (2016)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 29:50
The Father (2020)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 20:01
Weird Science (1985)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 1:00:46
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:45

Directors Referenced (2)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Clint EastwoodIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsMillion Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, Unforgiven▶ 5:20
Mihir LathIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 1:41

Actors Referenced (17)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Bill DukeIMDb ↗Lb ↗24Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle BrandtPredator, Commando▶ 19:18
Vernon WellsIMDb ↗Lb ↗5Kyle Brandt, Bill SimmonsCommando, The Road Warrior, Weird Science▶ 1:00:42
Arnold SchwarzeneggerIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons, Shea SerranoTerminator 2: Judgment Day, The Terminator▶ 2:26
Deep DishIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 0:00
Bill PaxtonIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill SimmonsAliens, Apollo 13▶ 49:43
Bruce LeeIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsEnter the Dragon▶ 5:18
Chuck NorrisIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 5:23
Danny GloverIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Kyle BrandtLethal Weapon, Lethal Weapon 3, Lethal Weapon 4▶ 1:25:14
David Patrick KellyIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsThe Crow▶ 1:08:09
GeneralIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Kyle Brandt▶ 8:58
Jeiron SessionIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsRun All Night▶ 0:13
Judd NelsonIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsThe Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire▶ 1:02:32

Writers Referenced (2)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Roger EbertIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 16:23
Tommy LeeIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsVanilla Sky▶ 30:53

Cinematographers Referenced (1)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
David PatrickIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:05