‘Commando’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Kyle Brandt
March 29, 2021 · Commando (1985) · Action · Adventure · Thriller · 1:27:19 · ▶ Listen on Spotify
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Half-Assed Internet Research
Bill Simmons▶ 12:30Val Verde is a fictional South American country used in multiple movies to avoid offending real countries; $9 million budget, made $57.5 million; Arnold vs Stallone rivalry began in mid-80s; Roger Ebert didn't review but gave thumbs up on Siskel & Ebert show
Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:01Locations: Sherman Oaks mall (still exists), San Nicolas Island off Santa Barbara as Val Verde, and the Harold Lloyd estate for the climax — the same house as Beverly Hills Cop's finale a year earlier. Director Mark L. Lester wanted Arnold to really dangle David Patrick Kelly over the cliff (crane used instead); a love scene was reportedly shot then cut; Rae Dawn Chong's wrecked red car is a 1960s Sunbeam Alpine; official body count 109 (102 by Arnold, 7 others)
Kyle Brandt▶ 14:07Team Schwarzenegger for life - saw Commando first so was immediately Arnold team; mentions Last Action Hero reference where Stallone is on Terminator poster
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:09:29Guessed body count 85 'for good luck' (the release year); earlier correctly guessed the climax compound also appeared in Beverly Hills Cop; wonders if this is the record for on-screen deaths outside war movies
Shea Serrano▶ 14:48Team Stallone - came across Rocky franchise first, still loyal even through bad recent Rambo movie about Mexican cartel/sex trafficking
Shea Serrano▶ 1:09:22Guessed the body count at 206 and stands by it (Bill sides with him: 'it's definitely 206'); riffs that Cobra and 300 must be in the hundreds
Most Rewatchable Scene
Bill Simmons▶ 19:38The daughter kidnapping scene, highlighting the wood chopping montage, father-daughter montage, her hiding under the bed, and Arnold's Chevy Blazer chase down the hill
Bill Simmons▶ 24:06Arnold escaping from the plane - described as everything he wants from comedy and unintentional comedy at the same time
Bill Simmons▶ 24:06Window covers only his SECOND most rewatchable scene: Arnold's plane escape — instantly killing his guard, the blanket and 'don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired', 'I'm airsick' during takeoff, then dropping ~400 feet from the landing gear into the swamp. His top pick falls outside this window
Kyle Brandt▶ 21:16Participated in discussion of the daughter kidnapping scene, noting similarities to Taken and critiquing the logic of Arnold's failed rescue attempt
Kyle Brandt▶ 25:46Praised the scene's muscle, violence, and one-liners; his nitpick: the Hawaiian-shirt handler should have put Matrix in the window seat to box him in (cites Red Eye)
Shea Serrano▶ 22:56Discussed the daughter kidnapping scene, noting the excessive violence compared to modern action movies and correcting that Arnold drives a Chevy Blazer, not Ford Bronco
Shea Serrano▶ 24:39Riffed on the plane-escape scene — 'I'm airsick' before they're even in the air, and the 400-foot fall he just walks off ('that's fine, I'm Arnold')
Picking Nits
Bill Simmons▶ 26:45The plane jump scene is illogical - Arnold jumps from high altitude like a skydive but lands like he was dropped seven feet, and they should have had him land in water
Kyle Brandt▶ 25:55The Hawaiian shirt guy should have put Matrix in the window seat and taken the aisle seat himself to prevent escape, but he wanted the window seat for the 11-hour flight
Shea Serrano▶ 27:05Poor dummy/mannequin work when Matrix jumps from the plane - it's obviously just a mannequin falling in the wide shot
What's Aged the Best
Bill Simmons▶ 53:30Agrees with Rae Dawn Chong casting, noting it was inspired casting that broke from typical 'white girl du jour' choices, and discusses the novelty of her being Tommy Chong's daughter in the mid-80s
Kyle Brandt▶ 52:20Rae Dawn Chong - her casting as a woman of color who kicks ass, fires a rocket, with no romantic subplot with Arnold, especially given they cut a romantic scene due to concerns about Southern cinema reception of interracial romance
Shea Serrano▶ 54:41Supports the Rae Dawn Chong discussion, sharing anecdote about assuming she was Mexican and noting she's considered an icon in the Mexican community
Casting What-Ifs
Bill Simmons▶ 59:49Gene Simmons — Listed several casting alternatives: Gene Simmons and Nick Nolte were considered for Arnold's role, Wings Hauser was fired as Bennett and replaced by Vernon Wells, Raul Julia was wanted for Arias instead of Dan Hedaya, and John McTiernan turned down directing to do Predator instead
Joey Pants Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:00:54David Patrick Kelly — David Patrick Kelly - calls him 'one of the best ever in this category', the gang leader from The Warriors who was Luther in 48 Hours
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:01:19Sharon Wyatt — The unnamed flight attendant who tells Matrix the fight will be exactly 11 hours - describes her other roles including Bruce Willis's wife in Last Boy Scout and Teela in the He-Man movie
Dion Waiters Award
Bill Simmons▶ 1:03:44Bill Duke — Bill Duke - plays 12 minutes but has huge impact, comparing his performance to having 20 rebounds, 7 blocks, 2 threes in basketball terms
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:04:29The security guard at the mall who delivers the line 'six foot two brown hair and one gigantic motherfucker' - described as playing 12 seconds but hitting two 35-foot three pointers
Shea Serrano▶ 1:04:01Bill Duke — Agrees that Bill Duke is great and explains that to win this award you don't have to be outrageous, you can just be good at it
Apex Mountain
Bill Simmons▶ 1:10:15Rae Dawn Chong — Arnold: No, Rae Dawn Chong: Yes, Alyssa Milano: debated between Who's the Boss and Charmed, Bill Duke: No, Vernon Wells: Yes (this movie over Mad Max or Weird Science), yellow Porsches: Yes, missile launchers/bazookas: Yes
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:10:57Vernon Wells — Alyssa Milano is known for Who's the Boss primarily, Vernon Wells yes for this movie, added chainmail as apex mountain candidate due to Bennett's ridiculous appearance
Shea Serrano▶ 1:10:19Rae Dawn Chong — Rae Dawn Chong: Yes (this is what she's known for), Vernon Wells: Yes (this is the one you remember and reference)
Probably Unanswerable Questions
Bill Simmons▶ 1:23:16Asks multiple questions: why no Commando 2, what happens after they get on the plane (legal consequences), where do they go (his lair or her house), and compares missed sequel opportunities
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:23:25Wonders about post-movie consequences - what charges they face, Ray Dawn might be in serious trouble for killing cops with rocket launcher, questions if there's a romantic future between Ray Dawn and Arnold
Shea Serrano▶ 1:23:18Curious about why no Commando 2 was made, disagrees about romance angle - thinks Ray Dawn just stuck through it to see who the girl was rather than falling in love
Movies Referenced (36)
Predator (1987)
15 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Shea Serrano▶ 3:46IMDb ↗Lb ↗
First Blood (1982)
10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Shea Serrano▶ 5:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Point Break (1991)
8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 59:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Rambo (2008)
8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 5:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Taken (2008)
8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt▶ 2:45IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Rocky (1976)
4 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 14:11IMDb ↗Lb ↗
The Terminator (1984)
4 mentions · Shea Serrano, Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons▶ 4:17IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Directors Referenced (2)
Clint Eastwood
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Million Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, Unforgiven▶ 5:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Mihir Lath
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol▶ 1:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Actors Referenced (17)
Vernon Wells
5 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons · Known for Commando, The Road Warrior, Weird Science▶ 1:00:42IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Arnold Schwarzenegger
4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Terminator▶ 2:26IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Bill Paxton
2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Aliens, Apollo 13▶ 49:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Chuck Norris
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Expendables 2▶ 5:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Danny Glover
1 mentions · Kyle Brandt · Known for Lethal Weapon, Lethal Weapon 4▶ 1:25:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗
David Patrick Kelly
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Crow, Flags of Our Fathers▶ 1:08:09IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Jeiron Session
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Run All Night, Salt, Let the Right One In▶ 0:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗
Judd Nelson
1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire▶ 1:02:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗