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‘Law Abiding Citizen’ With Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, and Craig Horlbeck

September 22, 2026 · Law Abiding Citizen (2009) · Action · Crime · Drama · 1:38:41 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

IMDb ↗Letterboxd ↗

Bill Simmons's four essentials for a vigilante movie

Unranked list · Bill Simmons · ▶ 5:55

  1. ·Our hero was driven to this▶ 5:55
  2. ·Our hero is broken▶ 5:58
  3. ·Our hero might have to cross a couple lines▶ 6:00
  4. ·By the end you're not sure our hero is a good guy anymore▶ 6:09
  5. ·Our hero becomes what he was fighting against▶ 7:12

Categories

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 28:19Multiple picks: Jamie Foxx's character (Nick) meeting Clyde and explaining why they can't try the case; the lethal injection scene gone wrong; Darby finally going down (Clyde's assassination of Darby with the toxin/gun reveal); Clyde pretending to confess to Nick without actually confessing, leading to the judge scene; and the jail cell scene where Clyde stabs his cellmate with a steak bone
Craig Horlbeck▶ 35:41The jail cell scene where Clyde stabs his cellmate with the steak bone he saved (loved this scene specifically for the bone detail)
Van Lathan▶ 29:01Doesn't name a separate standalone pick, but heavily co-signs and elaborates on Bill's picks, especially the opening case scene ('one of the most detestable scenes'), the gun/barb reveal during Darby's death ('now the movie has fucking started'), and the confession scene with the judge

Picking Nits

Bill Simmons▶ 36:28Questions whether you can really stab someone 20 times with a spork
Craig Horlbeck▶ 38:37Questions why Jamie Foxx's character made everyone come into the office at 6am to wait and see if they might die instead of staying home or far apart
Van Lathan▶ 36:35Confused early on why Clyde kills his cellmate when it seems purposeless; also questions why the DA is personally flying around in a chopper investigating like a detective when there must be other crimes in Philadelphia

Is There a Better Title?

Van Lathan▶ 53:05"Shut the Hell Up, Nick" - based on the recurring scene where every time Nick speaks and makes a decision, the opposite/bad outcome happens (e.g., the parking lot scene where his team goes to find the guy and it goes wrong)

Van Lathan's top five 'we shouldn't have fucked with this guy' movies

Ranked list · Van Lathan · ▶ 54:08

  1. 5Death Wish (1974)▶ 54:08
  2. 4The Equalizer (2014)▶ 54:28
  3. 3Taken (2008)▶ 54:40
  4. 2First Blood (1982)▶ 55:32
  5. 1John Wick (2014)▶ 56:18

Categories, continued

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill Simmons▶ 57:31The illogic of Clyde's elaborate 10-year revenge plot instead of just killing everyone quickly (Darby, the judge, etc.) after getting out; also the implausibility of his elaborate prison isolation cell with tunnels and his ability to move in/out undetected while also working a full janitorial shift
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:00:40Agrees the long-con logistics are the weak link—calls it possibly 'apex mountain for the long con,' noting the absurdity of Clyde planning 10 years, digging tunnels, and working a janitor job simultaneously
Van Lathan▶ 59:19Points out Clyde's revenge lacks real purpose/logic (revenge vs. justice distinction), making his scattershot, drawn-out killing spree the weak link; also jokes about the suspiciously nice, manicured tunnels

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:17Gerard Butler should have been James Bond 20 years ago instead of Daniel Craig
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:08:38Disagrees with Bill; thinks Daniel Craig had the grit for roles like Den of Thieves/Law Abiding Citizen instead, and Butler's brutal, unsubtle brand (and Scottish speech pattern) don't fit Bond's suave subtlety
Van Lathan▶ 1:07:49Calls Bill's take 'dazzling putrid' — entertaining but flawed, noting Craig's success as Bond and Butler's failure to carry Olympus Has Fallen; ultimately concedes it's a hot take, not a good one

Joey Pants Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:10:42Gregory Itzin (President Logan from 24), who played the warden as a full-fledged over-the-top character actor, wins the award.
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:10:46Suggests Michael Kelly, who plays Clyde's co-worker.
Van Lathan▶ 1:10:54Agrees Michael Kelly is a contender but notes he's since 'ascended' due to roles in Landman and Lioness, implying he may be past 'that guy' status.

Casting What-Ifs

Bill Simmons▶ 1:11:29For a 'Philadelphia' shadow sequel/Law Abiding Citizen-esque movie, wanted Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks together; also proposed Tom Hanks 'breaking bad' as a ripped, tattooed villain, and noted Tom Cruise as his dream pick for the Clive Owen role from Shadow Recruit-type films.
Van Lathan▶ 1:11:43Had the same idea independently: Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks in a Philadelphia sequel, with Denzel as Clive (the mentor/veteran role) and Tom Hanks as the Jamie Foxx-type character; also suggested Tom Cruise would have been a phenomenal Clive Owen replacement, citing his underused dramatic restraint in Collateral.

Hanks or Cruise

Bill Simmons▶ 1:17:25Tom Cruise — Agrees Cruise as a law-abiding citizen/villain type is a role he's wanted Cruise to play, citing Collateral as closest example
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:17:54Tom Cruise — Cruise would have crushed Clive, playing him as a hyper-fixated, manic, over-the-top character who'd learn tricks like bomb-making and tunneling
Van Lathan▶ 1:17:22Tom Cruise — Cruise would be a phenomenal Clive, praising how seamless and natural he was in Collateral as a comparison point

Is This Movie Better With

Bill Simmons▶ 1:28:18Cris Collinsworth and Troy Aikman — a football broadcast booth calling the movie ('I'm trying to think of football for this — we go Collinsworth, we go Troy Aikman'); the menu read (Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Florist) doesn't land a pick
Craig Horlbeck▶ 1:28:29Plays along in the Aikman voice — 'my client's like Josh Allen out there, Mike, he's running the offense, he's calling audibles left and right' — no pick of his own

Just One Oscar

Bill Simmons▶ 1:28:43Gerard Butler for Best Actor

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Bill Simmons▶ 1:32:05Quotes the line 'lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten' as the life lesson pick

Best Double Feature

Bill Simmons▶ 1:32:21Den of Thieves, paired with its sequel, to see 'both ends of Butler' (Gerard Butler when he has it and when he doesn't)
Van Lathan▶ 1:32:34Rocknrolla (personal favorite), also mentioned Dinner Days and John Wick as options

Movies Referenced (47)

Death Wish (2018)

9 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, Craig Horlbeck▶ 3:03IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Wick (2014)

7 mentions · Van Lathan, Craig Horlbeck▶ 3:57IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Collateral (2004)

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan▶ 18:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Den of Thieves (2018)

6 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons, Craig Horlbeck▶ 17:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Seven (1979)

6 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons▶ 12:54IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Greenland (2020)

5 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 17:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

The Game (1997)

5 mentions · Craig Horlbeck, Van Lathan▶ 25:39IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Rambo (2008)

4 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons, Craig Horlbeck▶ 55:15IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)

4 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons▶ 5:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Changing Lanes (2002)

2 mentions · Van Lathan▶ 2:26IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Horrible Bosses (2011)

2 mentions · Van Lathan▶ 18:57IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Miami Vice (2006)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan▶ 18:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (4)

F. Gary Gray

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, Craig Horlbeck · Known for The Italian Job▶ 21:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ben Affleck

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Argo, Gone Girl, The Town▶ 2:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Kevin Costner

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Dances with Wolves, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves▶ 1:12:44IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Bay

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Armageddon▶ 21:46IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (11)

Daniel Craig

5 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons · Known for No Time to Die, Casino Royale, Skyfall▶ 1:08:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Gerard Butler

3 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Law Abiding Citizen, The Phantom of the Opera▶ 14:54IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jamie Foxx

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Craig Horlbeck · Known for Ray, Collateral, Django Unchained▶ 10:01IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Kelly

3 mentions · Van Lathan, Bill Simmons · Known for Chronicle, Dawn of the Dead, Man of Steel▶ 1:10:46IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Chris Hemsworth

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Avengers, Thor: Ragnarok, Snow White and the Huntsman▶ 1:13:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Idris Elba

1 mentions · Craig Horlbeck · Known for Beasts of No Nation, Thor: Ragnarok▶ 3:48IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jodie Foster

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for The Silence of the Lambs, Taxi Driver▶ 5:12IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Leslie Bibb

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Iron Man, Iron Man 2▶ 39:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Luke Wilson

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Old School, The Royal Tenenbaums▶ 1:06:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Russell Crowe

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind▶ 15:59IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Whitney Houston

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Bodyguard, The Preacher's Wife, Waiting to Exhale▶ 1:23:39IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (2)

Kurt Wimmer

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Equilibrium▶ 22:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Lucas Foster

1 mentions · Van Lathan · Known for Ford v Ferrari, Crimson Tide, Man on Fire▶ 1:26:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗