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‘The Untouchables’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

June 23, 2022 · The Untouchables (1987) · Crime · Drama · Thriller · 1:20:52 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill SimmonsMultiple scenes including the Al Capone opening barbershop scene, the church scene with Malone, Andy Garcia getting hired, the baseball bat scene, the elevator death scene, and the train station baby carriage shootout▶ 32:15
Chris RyanAgrees with the train station scene as a masterpiece and mentions enjoying the bridge scene where Malone and Ness first meet▶ 38:42

Slow Ride Award

Bill SimmonsThe opening theme/credits▶ 46:11

Big Kahuna Burger Award

Chris RyanCapone's Breakfast in Bed - OJ, Coffee and the papers▶ 46:36

Great Shot Gordo Award

Bill SimmonsMentions the opening barber shot scene as a great shot among many nominees▶ 47:10
Chris RyanThe split diopter shot in the church with Costner and Connery both in focus▶ 47:22

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill SimmonsPatricia Clarkson's character (Elliot's wife) - says she's a good actress but has nothing to do and no reason to be in the movie▶ 47:53
Chris RyanDefends Patricia Clarkson's character as necessary for showing Elliot's wholesome life as counterpoint to Capone, but agrees the scenes could have been better written▶ 48:05

Is There a Better Title?

Bill SimmonsNo better title exists, but offers 'The Chicago Way' as alternative▶ 50:39

Best Quote

Bill Simmons"You married? Nice to be married, huh?" - Costner's line▶ 50:52
Chris RyanThe Chicago Way speech by Connery: "He brings a knife. You bring a gun. You send one of his - he sends one of yours to the hospital. You send one of his to the morgue."▶ 50:56

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill Simmons1987 was Costner's greatest movie year, having both The Untouchables and No Way Out▶ 53:15
Chris RyanElliot Ness is a bad coach who sentenced Oscar to death by putting the accountant on witness duty instead of using his playmakers properly▶ 52:21

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill SimmonsDon Johnson couldn't do movies because Miami Vice wouldn't release him from contract until 1990; Mickey Rourke turned down Elliot Ness; De Niro replaced Bob Hoskins as Capone, with De Palma paying Hoskins $200,000; Jeff Bridges and Tommy Lee Jones were seriously considered for Ness; Brando was offered $5 million for Capone▶ 54:42
Chris RyanArmani recommended Johnson for the role because he was dressing him on Miami Vice▶ 54:36

Overacting Award

Chris RyanBilly DragoThe bow tie gangster who holds the bookkeeper hostage in the train station, and Frank Nitty's death dive▶ 59:19

Apex Mountain

Bill SimmonsFerris Bueller's Day OffNo for Costner, De Palma (peak was Dressed to Kill/Blowout era), and De Niro. For older Connery chooses The Rock over this movie. For mid-80s Chicago movies agrees with Ferris Bueller.▶ 1:07:27
Chris RyanRobert De NiroAgrees this movie is Capone's apex mountain. For De Palma says no, prefers Mission Impossible. For older Connery chooses The Rock. For mid-80s Chicago movies picks Ferris Bueller as using Chicago the best.▶ 1:06:31

Hall of Fame Plaque

Bill SimmonsEither this movie or Scarface for De Palma - the two movies most people saw▶ 1:09:18
Chris RyanDiscusses this movie for De Palma since he wins the Oscar, but acknowledges Bond has to be Connery's▶ 1:09:06

Racehorse Name Award

Bill SimmonsOffered multiple options: Untouchable, Dago Bastard, or Screaming Irish Pig▶ 1:09:33

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill SimmonsDidn't have any because this is based on a true story and they hit all the ones▶ 1:11:58
Chris RyanWasn't left wondering how things happened - it's believable that the guy didn't file his tax returns▶ 1:12:03

Is This Movie Better With

Best Double Feature

Bill SimmonsNo Way OutNo Way Out - a Costner 1987 doubleheader, No Way Out first, Untouchables second▶ 1:15:01
Chris RyanScarfaceScarface - two incredible De Palma crime epics▶ 1:14:52

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Bill SimmonsIf you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree.▶ 1:16:32
Chris RyanAppreciated the Trust Nobody line and the comedic contradiction when the character asks Scott to trust him right after saying trust nobody▶ 1:16:42

Who Won the Movie

Bill SimmonsKevin CostnerCostner - because he had to prove he could be the leading man and this established the next 10 years of his career▶ 1:17:06
Chris RyanSean ConneryConnery - for being so magnetic in a supporting role that fits into a slot▶ 1:17:34

Movies Referenced (41)

Title (year)LinksMentionsMentioned byFirst
Scarface (1983)IMDb ↗Lb ↗14Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 15:58
Dressed to Kill (1980)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 17:32
Angel Heart (1987)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 7:23
Miami Vice (2006)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 54:36
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 7:08
The Prestige (2006)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 0:15
The Sting (1973)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 1:05:59
Batman (1989)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 12:19
Carlito's Way (1993)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan▶ 17:12
Carrie (1976)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 15:58
Field of Dreams (1989)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan▶ 24:24
Jaws (1975)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 9:01

Directors Referenced (8)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Kevin CostnerIMDb ↗Lb ↗31Bill Simmons, Chris RyanDances with Wolves, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves▶ 2:36
Sergei EisensteinIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 26:44
David WinningIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 1:05:36
John HughesIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanPlanes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, The Breakfast Club▶ 1:08:08
Michael MannIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsThe Insider, Collateral, The Last of the Mohicans▶ 44:17
Quentin TarantinoIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanReservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn▶ 14:13
Sam PeckinpahIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 40:18
William HoffaIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsLimitless, Furious 7, Creed▶ 15:16

Actors Referenced (70)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Sean ConneryIMDb ↗Lb ↗37Bill Simmons, Chris RyanDr. No, The Untouchables, The Rock▶ 2:37
Robert De NiroIMDb ↗Lb ↗22Bill Simmons, Chris RyanCape Fear, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver▶ 2:38
Don JohnsonIMDb ↗Lb ↗10Bill Simmons, Chris RyanDjango Unchained▶ 54:14
Andy GarciaIMDb ↗Lb ↗9Bill Simmons, Chris RyanOcean's Eleven, The Godfather Part III▶ 1:39
Albert BrooksIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill SimmonsBroadcast News▶ 27:56
Gene HackmanIMDb ↗Lb ↗5Bill Simmons, Chris RyanThe French Connection, The Royal Tenenbaums, Unforgiven▶ 15:35
Billy DragoIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill SimmonsThe Untouchables▶ 43:42
Empire of the SunIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons, Chris RyanSex Tape, Hall Pass▶ 1:06:26
Jack NicholsonIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill SimmonsChinatown, As Good as It Gets, The Departed▶ 5:40
Bob HoskinsIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill SimmonsWho Framed Roger Rabbit▶ 55:33
Denzel WashingtonIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 25:23
Ennio MorriconeIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsThe Hateful Eight, The Untouchables▶ 19:57

Writers Referenced (7)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
David MametIMDb ↗Lb ↗10Bill Simmons, Chris RyanHouse of Games▶ 3:17
Tony GilroyIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsMichael Clayton, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story▶ 14:07
Roger EbertIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 26:25
Brian Michael BendisIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 1:12:56
John GrishamIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanRunaway Jury, A Time to Kill▶ 24:50
Lawrence KasdanIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanThe Big Chill▶ 23:07
Wendy WassersteinIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 11:36

Cinematographers Referenced (1)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Oliver MoronIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:40