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‘Bad Boys’ (1983) With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

March 14, 2023 · Bad Boys (1983) · Crime · Drama · Thriller · 1:17:13 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill SimmonsS.I. Morales is a fucking awesome actor, and they had no parts for the guy. If you just put him in a time machine and put him in 2022, there would be parts galore, and he would have been a much bigger deal.▶ 25:58

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill SimmonsSoda can beating scene▶ 37:57
Chris RyanSoda can beating scene▶ 37:06

Apex Mountain

Bill SimmonsDiscussed multiple elements including the bald, black, muscular teacher guard guy (Daniel), blonde permafro/Sigma haircut of 1982-83, and Illinois State Penitentiary location▶ 39:30
Chris RyanAgreed on the blonde permafro haircut being at its peak, noting how security guys for Bon Jovi had this look and it was impossible to tell someone's profession by their hair▶ 40:29

Den of Thieves Benihana Award

Bill SimmonsChicago - early 80s Chicago as featured in the film and other movies of that era▶ 41:49
Chris RyanAgrees with Chicago choice and discusses how it connects to other Chicago crime films like Thief, suggesting an extended Chicago crime universe▶ 42:10

Big Kahuna Burger Award

Bill SimmonsBooger in the green beans▶ 47:25
Chris RyanDiscussed Horowitz dumping stuff on spinach but didn't give a definitive pick▶ 47:40

Great Shot Gordo Award

Bill SimmonsFinal scene - wide shot of Penn walking back to his cell and everyone reassembling the stuff and letting the guards out▶ 47:52
Chris RyanOne take of Mick and the young kid getting introduced into the reform school - pans around to all the guys clapping▶ 48:03

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill SimmonsThe abrupt scene where Mick escapes to see his girlfriend - he's there for 90 seconds then gets caught immediately▶ 48:30
Chris RyanAgrees it's a narrative device that feels unnecessary - could have just had Paco coming into prison without the extra layer of vengeance▶ 48:51

Ron Burgundy Flute Award

Is There a Better Title?

Bill SimmonsNo better title - Bad Boys was a great title and should have remained unique to this movie▶ 53:30
Chris RyanNo better title - Bad Boys is actually a pretty cool title for this movie▶ 53:13

Best Quote

Bill SimmonsI lost my brother. All you lost was some skin.▶ 54:00

Casting What-Ifs

Bill SimmonsSuggests nobody could play Mick O'Brien in 2023, dismisses Chalamet, doesn't provide a specific alternative▶ 59:12
Chris RyanJack O'ConnellJack O'Connell for recasting Mick O'Brien in 2023▶ 59:39

Racehorse Name Award

Bill SimmonsSoda Can Beating or Mick O'Brien▶ 1:03:44
Chris RyanViking and Tweety or Smacks (prefers Smacks)▶ 1:03:54

Is This Movie Better With

Chris RyanWayne Jenkins as Mick, referencing the 'God damn Horowitz!' line▶ 1:07:22

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill SimmonsMultiple questions including: Why didn't Eric Gurry make it in Hollywood? What would Bad Boys 2 plot be (suggests Paco's revenge)? Would you take 4 weeks solitary or 4 months added time? What were Viking's injuries and recovery time?▶ 1:08:12
Chris RyanBad Boys 2 should feature Sean Penn and Isai Morales as warden/floor boss helping inmates. For solitary vs 4 months added time, would probably choose the 4 months after experiencing 9 days of COVID isolation.▶ 1:09:23

Best Double Feature

Bill SimmonsTuff TurfTough Turf with James Spader - a 1985 LA high school gone haywire movie▶ 1:11:39
Chris RyanThe WarriorsThe Warriors - described as a more fantastical version of the same tribal gang culture▶ 1:11:56

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Bill SimmonsEveryone needs a barn boss▶ 1:13:24

Who Won the Movie

Movies Referenced (33)

Title (year)LinksMentionsMentioned byFirst
Bad Boys (1995)IMDb ↗Lb ↗33Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 1:54
Risky Business (1983)IMDb ↗Lb ↗6Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 3:05
Halloween (1978)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 4:47
The Prestige (2006)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 0:00
True Romance (1993)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris Ryan▶ 46:04
Weapons (2025)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 1:04:55
Carlito's Way (1993)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 9:42
Casualties of War (1989)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan▶ 22:28
Dead Man Walking (1995)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 9:32
Fargo (1996)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 56:20
Identity (2003)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 21:16
Sideways (2004)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 13:50

Directors Referenced (8)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Sean PennIMDb ↗Lb ↗68Bill Simmons, Chris RyanMystic River, 21 Grams, Dead Man Walking▶ 2:17
Rick RosenthalIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons, Chris RyanBad Boys, Halloween II▶ 4:47
Jack O'ConnellIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris Ryan▶ 59:19
John CarpenterIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsHalloween▶ 4:47
John CassavetesIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanRosemary's Baby▶ 17:41
John HughesIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsPlanes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, The Breakfast Club▶ 41:59
Philip D'AntoniIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanThe French Connection▶ 27:21
Sidney LumetIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan12 Angry Men▶ 27:21

Actors Referenced (49)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Paco MorenoIMDb ↗Lb ↗24Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 29:46
Matt DillonIMDb ↗Lb ↗8Bill Simmons, Chris RyanThere's Something About Mary, Crash▶ 3:13
Tom CruiseIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons, Chris RyanTop Gun, Minority Report▶ 3:05
Clancy BrownIMDb ↗Lb ↗6Bill Simmons, Chris RyanThe Shawshank Redemption, Starship Troopers▶ 24:05
Tom SizemoreIMDb ↗Lb ↗6Bill SimmonsSaving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down▶ 44:14
Al PacinoIMDb ↗Lb ↗5Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsDog Day Afternoon, The Godfather▶ 17:50
Ally SheedyIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons, Chris RyanWarGames, The Breakfast Club▶ 23:58
Philip Baker HallIMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill SimmonsMagnolia, Boogie Nights▶ 0:14
Eric GurryIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill SimmonsBad Boys▶ 1:02:44
Jamie Lee CurtisIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Chris RyanTrue Lies, Everything Everywhere All at Once▶ 1:01:19
Jerry SeinfeldIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons▶ 57:55
Leonardo DiCaprioIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Chris RyanInception, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Departed▶ 7:41

Writers Referenced (1)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Jack LondonIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan▶ 7:59

Cinematographers Referenced (1)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Aymeric ColasIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsThe Substance▶ 1:05:11