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‘Eyes Wide Shut’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Sean Fennessey, and Mallory Rubin

August 15, 2023 · Eyes Wide Shut (1999) · Drama · Mystery · Thriller · 1:34:29 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill SimmonsDo you think Nick was pretending for Tom Cruise that he didn't know what was going on, or did he not know but then worked out a deal with those guys?▶ 50:21
Chris RyanHow rich are Bill and Alice? Are they getting invited to Ziegler's because of their social circle or is this high altitude for them?▶ 44:46
Mallory RubinThey have money based on how much Bill shells out during his night out - every transaction involves extra hundreds on top of what's needed▶ 46:03
Sean FennesseyZiegler is worth like 500 million and they're worth like 15 million - they're wealthy because he does house calls to rich people▶ 45:02

What's Aged the Worst

Bill SimmonsThe scene where Alice tells Bill about her dream, specifically her explicit dialogue about being with other men▶ 51:25
Chris RyanKubrick's reputation preventing proper criticism of his methods, like shooting Full Metal Jacket in England instead of a Vietnam-like location▶ 54:04
Mallory RubinAlice's dream speech to Bill, which she reads aloud and questions why the actors agreed to say such dialogue▶ 52:13
Sean FennesseyHow Kubrick exploited actors, calling it an indictment on how dumb actors are for agreeing to work with him despite his destructive methods▶ 53:05

What's Aged the Best

Bill SimmonsThe movie's timeless quality - it doesn't take place in a specific year and could be right now, except for minor details like caps and his wife texting▶ 1:02:36
Chris RyanAgrees with the timeless quality but jokes about how social media would change the secret society scenes▶ 1:02:50

Casting What-Ifs

Bill SimmonsHarrison FordLists multiple alternate casting possibilities: Woody Allen in the 70s (would have been disaster), Steve Martin (1980s sex comedy version), Harrison Ford (top choice at one point), Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, Jennifer Jason Lee and Harvey Keitel, Johnny Depp▶ 1:07:56
Chris RyanVal KilmerVal Kilmer sent 30 unsolicited audition tapes to Kubrick and would have gone full frontal▶ 1:09:31
Mallory RubinHarrison FordNotes Harrison Ford connection to character name 'Harford' but says she couldn't have handled that casting▶ 1:08:27
Sean FennesseyHarrison FordHarrison Ford in the late 80s would have been really interesting and better in some ways▶ 1:09:02

Joey Pants Award

Dion Waiters Award

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill SimmonsCate Blanchett voiced the mysterious masked woman at the orgy; Cruise and Kidman sued Star Magazine for claiming they had a sex therapist coach them; various rumors about Harvey Keitel's departure that he won't mention▶ 1:12:01
Chris RyanSydney Pollack was brought in as Warner Brothers' spy and as the 'Cruise whisperer' after Keitel left; Gary Oldman's story about Keitel losing it on the 88th take of opening a door▶ 1:12:30

Apex Mountain

Bill SimmonsEyes Wide Shut party/orgies in general, and movies filmed in London pretending to be in New York▶ 1:13:15
Chris RyanBig orgies with masks▶ 1:13:20

Picking Nits

Bill SimmonsAlice's bad stoned acting - she acted drunk instead of stoned; Domino having a roommate is unrealistic for someone in her profession▶ 1:13:49
Chris RyanThe apartment being an unrealistic shithole - looked like a depression era jail cell that they didn't bother to tidy up; unnatural dialogue throughout the movie▶ 1:16:07
Mallory RubinAlice getting too high from a couple hits of one joint; Domino's roommate knowing details about Bill but not knowing they didn't sleep together; Dr. Bill wearing UGGs at home▶ 1:13:41
Sean FennesseyThe generic beer ordering scene - Bill asking for 'a beer' without specifying, likely due to product placement issues with the Budweiser-like bottle▶ 1:16:49

Who Won the Movie

Bill SimmonsStanley KubrickKubrick - because this movie never should have worked in a million years, it's so weird, and it was his last contribution to cinema▶ 1:33:38
Mallory RubinStanley KubrickKubrick - agrees with Bill's pick, noting his last contribution to cinema was having Nicole Kidman say they had to fuck▶ 1:33:50

Movies Referenced (35)

Title (year)LinksMentionsMentioned byFirst
The Shining (1980)IMDb ↗Lb ↗8Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey▶ 13:12
The Mask (1994)IMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, Chris Ryan▶ 4:40
Full Metal Jacket (1987)IMDb ↗Lb ↗6Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey, Chris Ryan▶ 30:16
Alien (1979)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey▶ 56:29
Top Gun (1986)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Sean Fennessey, Bill Simmons▶ 24:04
Born on the Fourth of July (1989)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey▶ 32:21
Conspiracy Theory (1997)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Sean Fennessey▶ 22:30
Fargo (1996)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 1:11:34
Psycho (1960)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 56:19
A Clockwork Orange (1971)IMDb ↗Lb ↗1Sean Fennessey▶ 13:13
Aliens (1986)IMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 33:28
Apocalypse Now (1979)IMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 25:26

Directors Referenced (4)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Stanley KubrickIMDb ↗Lb ↗10Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey, Chris RyanA Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon▶ 8:57
Andrea BiasIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Mallory RubinBlack Adam, A Simple Favor, The Intern▶ 0:06
David CronenbergIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanThe Fly▶ 47:35
Tony ScottIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Sean FennesseyUnstoppable, True Romance▶ 32:38

Actors Referenced (11)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Tom CruiseIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Mallory Rubin, Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsTop Gun, Minority Report▶ 6:33
Harrison FordIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Mallory Rubin, Sean FennesseyRaiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, The Fugitive▶ 1:08:32
Nicole KidmanIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Sean Fennessey, Bill Simmons▶ 7:39
Ryan O'NeillIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Sean Fennessey, Bill Simmons▶ 53:39
Alan CummingIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 1:33:14
Chris DenisonIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 1:08:42
John StarksIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Sean Fennessey▶ 1:32:46
Kaiser ChiefsIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Mallory Rubin▶ 0:18
KansasIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Mallory RubinPitch Perfect▶ 0:18
Peter SellersIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 53:55
Steve MartinIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Sean FennesseyThe Jerk▶ 1:08:13

Writers Referenced (1)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Arthur SchnitzlerIMDb ↗Lb ↗8Bill Simmons, Sean Fennessey, Mallory RubinEyes Wide Shut▶ 8:49