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‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins

April 9, 2024 · The War of the Roses (1989) · Comedy · Romance · 1:42:35 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Most Rewatchable Scene

Amanda Dobbins▶ 28:10Barb talking to the live-in nanny about hiring her and the brief gymnastics callback scene
Bill Simmons▶ 22:38Young Nantucket flashback scene, first big dinner scene leading into bedroom argument, Barb finds her dream house scene, and the snoring/fingers in nose scene
Mallory Rubin▶ 27:04The bedroom argument/debrief after the dinner party and the dramatic letter reading scene before the nose-plugging incident

What's Aged the Best

Mallory Rubin▶ 41:49Raises the framing device (accessing the Roses' saga through Gavin's legal practice) as either aged-best or aged-worst and asks for a vote, but it gets held for a different spot; her actual nomination in the moment is the very specific presence of liver pate in dozens of scenes (beyond just Barbara's catering ambitions)

Is There a Better Title?

Bill Simmons▶ 46:33Der Rosenkrieg (the German title)

Den of Thieves Benihana Award

Bill Simmons▶ 47:58The house
Mallory Rubin▶ 48:00The house

Big Kahuna Burger Award

Bill Simmons▶ 48:23The doggy tartars
Mallory Rubin▶ 48:31Three-way race between piss fish, the Benny fake-out pate, and the fresh fig and cognac sauce conversation from the first dinner party

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Amanda Dobbins▶ 54:12The terrazzo floor in the foyer - doesn't care for the late 80s interior design aesthetic
Bill Simmons▶ 51:00The Danny DeVito scenes and framing device - feels like he put himself in the movie because he was a big star and the movie would be better without those scenes
Mallory Rubin▶ 53:16The pacing issues, particularly how the movie's two halves are tonally distinct and the final stretch puts you in a completely different movie

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Mallory Rubin▶ 1:00:21Is he actually mute?

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:03:02The War of the Roses house is not even a top 20 movie house, provided a list of 17+ better movie houses
Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:08The dog should have died in the pate scene for a better movie
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:01:09Gavin orchestrated the entire divorce as a long con to inherit the house and move up in the firm

Casting What-Ifs

Bill Simmons▶ 1:09:13Cher — Cher was in the mix for Barbara Rosa role during her late 80s renaissance after Mask and Moonstruck

Joey Pants Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:09:53G.D. Spradlin — J.D. Spradlin (the senator in Godfather II, also in North Dallas 40, Apocalypse Now, and other films)

Dion Waiters Award

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:10:56Discusses Susan the housekeeper but notes she doesn't get much to do and there are only four people with extended speaking roles
Bill Simmons▶ 1:10:39The guy in the hospital who got stabbed by his wife - appears for about 3 minutes and delivers the line 'They're always sorry after'

Apex Mountain

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:16:39Kathleen Turner — Kathleen Turner: No, mid-80s was probably her peak with Romancing the Stone. The piss fish scene: Absolutely, can't think of another piss on fish
Bill Simmons▶ 1:16:26Danny DeVito — Michael Douglas: No, 1987 was his peak year with Fatal Attraction and Wall Street. Kathleen Turner: No, this is tail end. Danny DeVito: Yes, around his apex with this and Twins. The piss fish scene: Yes, without question best piss on fish ever
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:17:27Sean Astin — Sean Astin: Certainly not his apex mountain. The piss fish scene: Agreed it's the best

Racehorse Name Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:23:41The Bald Avenger

Is This Movie Better With

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:33:06Philip Baker Hall — Philip Baker Hall as the lawyer framing device.
Bill Simmons▶ 1:32:47Samuel L. Jackson — Sam Jackson, potentially as the person Danny DeVito is talking to.
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:33:25Wayne Jenkins, potentially inserted into the hospital scene or involved in a case the law firm is handling.

Just One Oscar

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:34:04Kathleen Turner — Acknowledges both Turner and Douglas are great but leans toward Turner since Douglas already has an Oscar
Bill Simmons▶ 1:34:02Kathleen Turner — Kathleen Turner for Best Actress
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:34:10Kathleen Turner — Kathleen Turner (agrees with another host)

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:38:28We already had this talk. Drugs don't do them. And sex don't catch anything
Bill Simmons▶ 1:37:58My father used to say there are four things that told you what a man is: His house, his car, his wife, and his shoes
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:38:16When a man who makes $450 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you should listen

Who Won the Movie

Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:39:10Kathleen Turner — Agrees Turner has the better part - gets to be funny and sexy while Douglas is just befuddled
Bill Simmons▶ 1:38:54Kathleen Turner — The combo of Douglas and Turner, but at gunpoint would pick Turner
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:38:44Kathleen Turner — The combo - works because of them together

Hall of Fame Plaque

Bill Simmons▶ 1:40:33Agrees with Hall of Fame status, emphasizes things that would never happen in movies now
Mallory Rubin▶ 1:42:03Supports Hall of Fame inclusion, notes the movie works because the leads are good together

Movies Referenced (57)

Fatal Attraction (1987)

7 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin▶ 8:07IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Body Heat (1981)

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins, Mallory Rubin▶ 10:34IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ant-Man (2015)

5 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Mallory Rubin▶ 17:12IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jerry Maguire (1996)

5 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:21:34IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Basic Instinct (1992)

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins▶ 8:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ex Machina (2014)

4 mentions · Mallory Rubin, Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:03:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Wall Street (1987)

4 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 15:48IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Barbie (2023)

3 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Mallory Rubin, Bill Simmons▶ 12:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Marriage Story (2019)

3 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Mallory Rubin▶ 4:19IMDb ↗Lb ↗

The Game (1997)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins▶ 15:58IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Fargo (1996)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 55:30IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Father of the Bride (1991)

2 mentions · Amanda Dobbins▶ 1:03:36IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (3)

Jonathan Demme

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia, Rachel Getting Married▶ 1:11:16IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Hughes

1 mentions · Amanda Dobbins · Known for Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, The Breakfast Club▶ 1:04:21IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ken Russell

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 10:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (53)

Michael Douglas

30 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, Amanda Dobbins · Known for Wall Street, Behind the Candelabra, Romancing the Stone▶ 2:29IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Kathleen Turner

23 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins, Mallory Rubin · Known for Romancing the Stone, Peggy Sue Got Married, Body Heat▶ 2:29IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Danny DeVito

21 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin · Known for Matilda, The War of the Roses, Batman Returns▶ 2:36IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Beach House

16 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Bill Simmons▶ 1:34IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Tom Hanks

16 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, Amanda Dobbins · Known for Cast Away, Big, Forrest Gump▶ 40:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Harrison Ford

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin · Known for Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, The Fugitive▶ 3:28IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Olivia Colman

5 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins · Known for The Favourite, The Lost Daughter▶ 13:18IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Tony Romo

5 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 1:06:40IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Chris Berman

4 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Longest Yard, Draft Day▶ 1:09:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ivana Basic

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins · Known for The Rhythm Section▶ 8:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Phil Collins

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Amanda Dobbins · Known for Tarzan, Hook▶ 1:14:31IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Tom Cruise

4 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Bill Simmons · Known for Top Gun, Mission: Impossible II, Minority Report▶ 40:17IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (2)

Nancy Meyers

3 mentions · Amanda Dobbins, Bill Simmons · Known for It's Complicated, Something's Gotta Give, Private Benjamin▶ 1:04:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

James Thurber

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 20:09IMDb ↗Lb ↗