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‘Armageddon’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano, and Jason Concepcion

May 21, 2020 · Armageddon (1998) · Action · Adventure · Sci-Fi · 1:31:42 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Probably Unanswerable Questions

Chris Ryan▶ 4:14The movie blows through plot holes and unanswerable questions, including why it suddenly looks like the 1950s and ridiculous American flags
Chris Ryan▶ 1:08:48Posed one item he explicitly labels 'also a probably unanswerable question': is this movie better if Owen Wilson has Ben Affleck's part?
Jason Concepcion▶ 6:45The unnecessary shot at Godzilla in the first five minutes - why are they doing a drive-by on Godzilla when it opened the same summer
Shea Serrano▶ 1:08:58Emphatic no to Chris's question — 'Ben Affleck is the all-American son and Owen Wilson is not'; cites Behind Enemy Lines as proof Wilson couldn't carry that role.

Apex Mountain

Bill Simmons▶ 1:15:49Michael Bay — 'It's the Baypex'; after making (but not believing) a Bruce Willis 'second apex' case (Disney absorbing his failed movie in exchange for Armageddon + Sixth Sense + Unbreakable), while holding Die Hard as Willis's true apex. Also: Michael Clarke Duncan's comes next year with Green Mile; Billy Bob's is Monster's Ball; Liv Tyler's is Lord of the Rings; Titanic beats it for 90s disaster movies.
Chris Ryan▶ 7:41Michael Bay — Discussed whether this is Bay's best performance, compared to The Rock being tighter but this being his 'most movie-ass movie' and pure Michael Bay
Chris Ryan▶ 1:12:17Michael Bay — 'the Baypex... absolutely': apex mountain is when you accumulate all the chips before cashing in, and Bay cashed them in on Pearl Harbor. Also called 90s-disaster-movie apex for Titanic over this.
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:14:09Michael Bay ('I do think it's Michael Bay. It's the Apex... It's the Baypex. We know it'), while making a serious case that this is Billy Bob Thornton's apex — he elevates the movie more than any other film he's in.
Shea Serrano▶ 1:11:08Rejected the Bruce Willis case ('that's a mistake'); offered per-person verdicts — Will Patton's apex is Remember the Titans or The Postman, Liv Tyler's is Lord of the Rings — without explicitly casting a final vote for Bay.

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 28:36Opening asteroid attack scene that takes out New York City with Eddie Griffin, and Bruce Willis meeting Affleck/chasing him with a gun on the oil rig, Harry's demands scene with Billy Bob, crew takeoff with president's speech, Affleck and Michael Clark Duncan almost dying

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill Simmons▶ 1:00:14Michael Bay paid $20,000 for Ben Affleck to get new pearly white teeth because he wasn't happy with Affleck's 'little baby teeth' and wanted heroes with big chins and big teeth for close-up shots

What's Aged the Worst

Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:02Affleck and Liv Tyler love scenes
Chris Ryan▶ 1:01:06Rockhound's sexual deviancy
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:01:24Rockhound's inappropriate comments about age ('I thought they were over 18' material) and Bay's shot at Roland Emmerich's Godzilla

Casting What-Ifs

Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:51Arnold Schwarzenegger — Lists the casting what-ifs: Schwarzenegger for Harry Stamper (relieved it didn't happen), Mila Jovovich and Robin Wright turned down Grace (thinks Robin Wright seems too old)
Chris Ryan▶ 1:02:17Robin Wright — Imagines Robin Wright would have rejected the script, asking 'are you fucking kidding me?'
Shea Serrano▶ 1:02:13Robin Wright — Robin Wright would have been incredible, has never seen her be bad in anything

Joey Pants Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:02:36William Fichtner — William Fichtner - considers him 'a that guy' despite being recognizable
Chris Ryan▶ 1:02:51William Fichtner — Mentions Mark Curry as 'a good that guy' but seems to defer to William Fichtner discussion
Shea Serrano▶ 1:02:37William Fichtner — William Fichtner - calls him 'the A1 that guy' and 'the winner for this'

Dion Waiters Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:04:54Eddie Griffin — his initial call after ruling Michael Clarke Duncan ineligible ('which leaves us with Carl the Asteroid Spotter and Eddie Griffin... it's got to go to Eddie then'); he then approvingly echoes Owen Wilson's 'scariest environment imaginable' line as the group consensus forms.
Chris Ryan▶ 1:05:05Owen Wilson — 'amazing in this movie' and goes out early enough that it's 'just enough for Dion'.
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:05:41Owen Wilson — cites the shot of him at full gallop on a horse as the FBI rounds up the crew: 'Dion Waiters award. Bingo. Nailed it.'
Shea Serrano▶ 1:06:02Owen Wilson — has the single funniest line in the movie ('the scariest place imaginable — you could have just said that'); 'he should be the winner here' (while noting Will Patton is the most consistently funny).

Picking Nits

Bill Simmons▶ 1:16:56Will Patton's wife taking him back immediately after being completely out on him - she won't let him make eye contact with their kid, then does a complete 180 just because he has a new job
Chris Ryan▶ 1:19:36No sound in space rule being broken, crystal clear communication with Liv Tyler after they supposedly lost radio contact, unrealistic timeline with 12 days of training while asteroid approaches, and lack of basic needs shown (eating, bathroom breaks)
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:18:43The president has no name despite being in multiple scenes and making speeches, Ben Affleck finding the other crew after crashing seemingly thousands of miles away, and the asteroid getting hit by other asteroids

Best Quote

Bill Simmons▶ 1:22:32Acknowledges they mentioned most quotes already, doesn't give a specific new pick
Shea Serrano▶ 1:22:50Will's line: 'You lost your mind? He's got space dementia.'

Who Won the Movie

Bill Simmons▶ 1:28:41Billy Bob Thornton
Chris Ryan▶ 1:28:45Billy Bob Thornton
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:29:24Billy Bob Thornton
Shea Serrano▶ 1:29:05Will Patton

Movies Referenced (48)

Titanic (1997)

6 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 7:52IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Godzilla (2014)

5 mentions · Jason Concepcion▶ 6:59IMDb ↗Lb ↗

The Rock (1996)

5 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Chris Ryan▶ 5:18IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Transformers (2007)

5 mentions · Chris Ryan, Jason Concepcion▶ 18:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Scream (1996)

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 29:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Deep Impact (1998)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 13:50IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Remember the Titans (2000)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion▶ 1:13:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Unbreakable (2000)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 23:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bad Boys (1995)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 4:45IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Beautiful Girls (1996)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 33:52IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Crimson Tide (1995)

2 mentions · Jason Concepcion, Chris Ryan▶ 1:21:16IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Die Hard (1988)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 23:33IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (10)

Michael Bay

61 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion, Chris Ryan · Known for Armageddon▶ 2:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ben Affleck

36 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Argo, Gone Girl, The Town▶ 2:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Tony Scott

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Domino, Unstoppable, True Romance▶ 8:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

David Fincher

2 mentions · Jason Concepcion · Known for Se7en, Gone Girl, Zodiac▶ 9:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Joe Roth

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Great Debaters, Maleficent▶ 26:48IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sean Penn

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion · Known for Mystic River, 21 Grams, Dead Man Walking▶ 1:02:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Justin Lin

1 mentions · Shea Serrano · Known for Fast & Furious 6▶ 1:27:19IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ken Burns

1 mentions · Shea Serrano▶ 3:31IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Mann

1 mentions · Jason Concepcion · Known for The Insider, Collateral, The Last of the Mohicans▶ 40:36IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Roland Emmerich

1 mentions · Jason Concepcion · Known for Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow▶ 1:01:35IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (53)

Liv Tyler

23 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Armageddon, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The Incredible Hulk▶ 2:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Will Patton

21 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Chris Ryan · Known for No Way Out, Armageddon▶ 2:12IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bruce Willis

20 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Die Hard, Pulp Fiction▶ 2:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Clark

10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Kelly's Heroes▶ 36:29IMDb ↗Lb ↗

William Fichtner

10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Jason Concepcion · Known for Crash, Drive Angry, Black Hawk Down▶ 11:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Steve Buscemi

9 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano · Known for Fargo, Ghost World, Reservoir Dogs▶ 2:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Angelina Jolie

8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion, Shea Serrano · Known for Maleficent, Girl, Interrupted, Changeling▶ 1:06:46IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Eddie Griffin

8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for Undercover Brother, John Q▶ 28:44IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Owen Wilson

8 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for The Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket, Wedding Crashers▶ 24:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Billy Bob Thornton

7 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Sling Blade, A Simple Plan, The Man Who Wasn't There▶ 3:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bill Pullman

6 mentions · Chris Ryan, Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for Independence Day, Spaceballs▶ 15:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Keith David

5 mentions · Jason Concepcion, Shea Serrano, Chris Ryan · Known for The Princess and the Frog, They Live, Armageddon▶ 43:08IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (6)

Robert Towne

3 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Chinatown, Mission: Impossible, The Last Detail▶ 33:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Roger Ebert

2 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 21:57IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Scott Rosenberg

2 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons · Known for Beautiful Girls, Con Air▶ 33:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

J.J. Abrams

1 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Star Trek, Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens▶ 33:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Shane Salerno

1 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Armageddon, Avatar: The Way of Water▶ 33:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Tony Gilroy

1 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Michael Clayton, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story▶ 33:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗