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‘Bloodsport’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Jason Concepcion

August 9, 2019 · Bloodsport (1988) · Action · Biography · Drama · 1:27:04 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

IMDb ↗Letterboxd ↗

Categories

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 16:35Multiple scenes including opening credits with fighters warming up, JVD training with blindfolds and rope device, the brick-breaking invitation scene, and the first round of kumite fights montage
Bill Simmons▶ 29:37Chong Li vs. Ray Jackson — 'this is my favorite scene,' especially Van Damme being held back screaming 'No! No!' ('that's the Oscar'); also runs through the fight-montage scenes and calls JVD vs. the smiling fat bear-hug guy (Pumola) 'probably the second best fight in this whole movie.'
Jason Concepcion▶ 33:06Riffs on the scenes rather than picking one: the Kumite's nonexistent timekeeping for the 12-second world record, Chong Li as a minus-600 favorite, and Chong Li casting a Darth Vader-like shadow in only seven minutes of screen time.
Shea Serrano▶ 18:36Agrees with opening credits as effective storytelling that introduces all the key characters and sets up the tournament structure
Shea Serrano▶ 31:09Engaged across the fights without crowning one scene: bothered that Ray Jackson celebrated instead of finishing Chong Li ('just finish the job'), Paco is 'my fucking guy' (the fighter he pretended to be as a kid), and Chong Li is his favorite character for ratcheting up the violence every fight.

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill Simmons▶ 34:09What was in the substance thrown in Van Damme's eyes - acid or salt?
Jason Concepcion▶ 35:27Where was the council or any officials during the cheating incident?
Shea Serrano▶ 34:13Why did Van Damme go completely blind from what appears to be just a salt peel?

What's Aged the Best

Bill Simmons▶ 41:02Fight scenes, Chong Li's villain characteristics (nose blowing, late 80s steroid body, celebrations, pec flexes), Van Damme's terrible acting as unintentionally entertaining, the perfect arena design, Stan Bush's 'Fight to Survive' song, and young Frank's awkward costume choices
Jason Concepcion▶ 42:02Chong Li's sinister and strange character qualities, the walled city Hong Kong setting for the secretive fighting arena, and comparing the underground walk to Kumite favorably to the Goodfellas nightclub shot
Shea Serrano▶ 41:44Tournament movie structure - any movie with a tournament works because you don't have to explain much, just need a board to move names further

What's Aged the Worst

Bill Simmons▶ 52:06The terrible two-minute montage with bad song, Young Frank's accent and acting, and Ray Jackson's sexual harassment scene on the train
Jason Concepcion▶ 50:56The female reporter going undercover as a call girl and using sex as a weapon - the 70s/80s trope of how to get the female reporter involved
Shea Serrano▶ 56:38The monkey guy and the reporter storyline, plus Ray Jackson sexually harassing the woman on the train

Casting What-Ifs

Jason Concepcion▶ 57:06Forest Whitaker — Suggests Forrest Whitaker's casting itself feels like a what-if, questioning how he ended up in the movie and speculating it might have been through personal connections

Joey Pants Award

Bill Simmons▶ 57:36Norman Burton — Norman Burton (Helmer, Forrest Whitaker's partner)

Dion Waiters Award

Bill Simmons▶ 59:38Victor Lin — Suggested Victor Lin, considered 'point at you, point at me guy', discussed Van Damme's Speedo scene, ultimately stated 'I have no idea who wins'
Shea Serrano▶ 59:55Victor Lin — Victor Lin - 'It's got to be him. He's the only other guy I remember from the movie'

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:01Frank Dux's fabricated credentials (329 Kumite matches undefeated), filming location Kowloon Walled City being destroyed, Jean-Claude's seven splits in the movie, fighter knockouts being real, and Mortal Kombat taking inspiration from Bloodsport
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:01:33Frank Dux's claims about CIA and Mossad connections, Kowloon Walled City being demolished due to crime/fire hazards, and the Karate Champ arcade game from 1984
Shea Serrano▶ 1:01:21LA Times exposé disproving Frank Dux's claims, his elaborate fake stories about fighting in different locations, and trivia about fighters including Michael Qissi playing both Swan Paredes and later Tong Po in Kickboxer

Apex Mountain

Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:08Donald Gibb — Yes for Donald Gibb (though uncertain vs Revenge of the Nerds), Yes for Leah Ayers, Yes for Frank Dux
Jason Concepcion▶ 1:08:01Bolo Yeung — Agrees on Bolo/Chong Li for this movie, suggests Call of Duty Black Ops 2 for Kowloon Walled City
Shea Serrano▶ 1:07:56Bolo Yeung — This movie for Bolo/Chong Li over Enter the Dragon, and Jean-Claude Van Damme's splits

Picking Nits

Bill Simmons▶ 1:08:44Everyone was too accommodating for Chong Li's finishing move - they just let him do it even when opponents weren't unconscious; questions about how gambling worked in the Kumite and how they kept track
Shea Serrano▶ 1:10:41Why did Jean-Claude Van Damme have to prove himself by breaking the brick after he already had the invitation; Chong Li having 9 fights means there would need to be 512 people in a single elimination tournament

Best Quote

Bill Simmons▶ 1:11:43Multiple quotes: 'Why Don't You Quit Round Eye', 'Brick not hit back', and 'I break you. I break your friend' from Bolo
Shea Serrano▶ 1:12:47The three lines said to Chong Li: 'Tomorrow we leave for the Kumite', 'I'm going to kill you, man', and Van Damme yelling 'Sam!'

Shea Serrano's Best Fictional Sports-Movie Showdowns

Ranked list · Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion · ▶ 1:17:17

  1. 1Chong Li vs. Frank Dux (Bloodsport) · Shea Serrano▶ 1:17:17
  2. 2Sidney Deane & Billy Hoyle vs. King & Duck (White Men Can't Jump) · Shea Serrano▶ 1:17:20
  3. 3The title game (Friday Night Lights) · Shea Serrano▶ 1:17:35
  4. ·The bobsled race (Cool Runnings) · honorable mention · Shea Serrano▶ 1:18:08
  5. ·The baseball game (Field of Dreams) · Jason Concepcion▶ 1:18:14
  6. ·The half-court shot (Escape from L.A.) · Shea Serrano▶ 1:18:34

Best Paco Movie Performance Ever

Ranked list · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · ▶ 1:18:54

  1. 1Paco Aguilar (Blood In, Blood Out) · Shea Serrano▶ 1:18:57
  2. 2Paco (Bloodsport) · Bill Simmons▶ 1:19:05
  3. ·Paco (Bad Boys) · Bill Simmons▶ 1:18:54

Which real-life MMA fighter would be the best Bloodsport character?

Unranked list · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · ▶ 1:19:54

  1. ·Conor McGregor · Shea Serrano▶ 1:19:54
  2. ·Nate Diaz · Bill Simmons▶ 1:20:05
  3. ·Rampage Jackson · Shea Serrano▶ 1:20:35

Categories, continued

Who Won the Movie

Bill Simmons▶ 1:24:38Bolo Yeung — Chong Li

Movies Referenced (36)

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

6 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 39:46IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bad Boys (1995)

5 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion▶ 1:18:54IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Vision Quest (1985)

5 mentions · Jason Concepcion, Bill Simmons▶ 53:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Kickboxer (1989)

4 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 8:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Enter the Dragon (1973)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 6:03IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Best of the Best (1989)

2 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 47:44IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Cyborg (1989)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 8:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Fatal Attraction (1987)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 0:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Heat (1995)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 37:17IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Mortal Kombat (2021)

2 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 47:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Phone Booth (2002)

2 mentions · Shea Serrano▶ 55:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Rocketman (2019)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 0:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (3)

Janice Kent

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion▶ 40:15IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Mike Mentor

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Ambulance, Amsterdam▶ 20:30IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sean Penn

2 mentions · Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion · Known for Mystic River, 21 Grams, Dead Man Walking▶ 1:19:16IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (28)

Jean-Claude Van Damme

52 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion · Known for Double Impact, Double Team, Kickboxer▶ 1:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Frank Stallone

41 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion · Known for Rambo: First Blood Part II, Hudson Hawk, Staying Alive▶ 1:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Arnold Schwarzenegger

12 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion · Known for Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Terminator▶ 9:21IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Steven Seagal

9 mentions · Jason Concepcion, Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Under Siege 2: Dark Territory▶ 11:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Donald Gibb

7 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion, Shea Serrano · Known for Revenge of the Nerds, Bloodsport, Hancock▶ 13:35IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Conor McGregor

6 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion · Known for Road House▶ 1:19:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

They Might Be Giants

5 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for The Adjustment Bureau, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Sky High▶ 45:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Brock Lesnar

4 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 33:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Chong Lee

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for The Kentucky Fried Movie▶ 16:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Caine

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for The Dark Knight, The Cider House Rules▶ 5:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bruce Lee

2 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for The Way of the Dragon, Enter the Dragon▶ 1:07:57IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Chuck Liddell

2 mentions · Shea Serrano · Known for Drillbit Taylor▶ 56:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (3)

Jackie Files

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 57:52IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Tobias

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Mortal Kombat▶ 1:07:01IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sheldon Lettich

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Double Impact▶ 1:01:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗