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‘Road House’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt

March 5, 2024 · Road House (1989) · Action · Thriller · 2:02:40 · ▶ Listen on Spotify

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Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill SimmonsDiscusses multiple scenes including Dalton showing up at the Double Deuce, the three rules scene, and Dalton getting stitched up by Dr. Kelly Lynch, but doesn't pick one definitive scene▶ 30:48

Apex Mountain

Kyle BrandtDrombouille (the liquor/spirit)▶ 40:35

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill SimmonsDalton's name is his last name and he dropped his first name because it wasn't badass enough, like Robert Dalton or Tristan Dalton▶ 58:58
Chris RyanDalton is like Prince or Cher - just one name▶ 58:54
Kyle BrandtIt's his first name▶ 58:36

Big Kahuna Burger Award

Bill Simmonsany of the 20 beer bottles broken over someone's head▶ 1:02:40
Chris Ryanthe morning beers that Wade and Dalton are having with Elizabeth at that diner▶ 1:03:05
Kyle Brandtbreakfast at the Wesley's▶ 1:02:45

Den of Thieves Benihana Award

Bill SimmonsWesley's house / the whole lake compound where Brad Wesley and Emmett live▶ 1:04:00

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill SimmonsThere's just no police in this town▶ 1:06:52
Chris RyanThe lack of any kind of cursory law enforcement showing up to any of these fights anywhere▶ 1:07:05
Kyle BrandtAgrees with the lack of police response, noting how ridiculous it is that only one sheriff shows up at the end when there are multiple bodies▶ 1:07:13

Great Shot Gordo Award

Kyle BrandtThe shot where 50% of the screen is pubic hair▶ 1:08:44

Is There a Better Title?

Bill SimmonsThe Double Deuce▶ 1:18:14
Kyle BrandtThe Double Deuce▶ 1:18:47

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill SimmonsBrad Wesley kind of had a point - he created the town, brought commerce, served in Korea, and maybe cared about Jasper just a little too much▶ 1:22:02
Chris RyanI prefer the old Double Deuce, and I think Dalton is a gentrifier who turned it into basically a TGI Fridays▶ 1:18:56
Kyle BrandtThe line 'I used to fuck guys like you in prison' is the greatest line ever uttered by a villain in any movie ever▶ 1:20:04

Overacting Award

Bill SimmonsBen GazzaraQuoting dialogue from what appears to be an overacted scene: 'Don't you call me lady... I treated you like a son. You fucking stabbed me in the heart. Fuck you.'▶ 1:25:42

Teddy KGB Award

Chris RyanPatrick SwayzePat Swayze overacting when dragging Jimmy's dead body into the lake and yelling 'Wesley!'▶ 1:26:04
Kyle BrandtKelly LynchKelly Lynch for 'Who's going to save him from you?' line▶ 1:26:13

Dion Waiters Award

Bill SimmonsJimmy RenoJimmy Reno, the prison rapist▶ 1:27:17
Chris RyanJimmy (agrees with Bill's pick)▶ 1:27:19
Kyle BrandtDawn CicconeDawn Ciccone (shout out for her one-and-done role as 'regular Saturday night thing in the closet')▶ 1:28:00

Casting What-Ifs

Bill SimmonsRonda RouseyMentions Ronda Rousey was set to star in 2015 remake before her loss to Holly Holm derailed it; discusses Jake Gyllenhaal remake affecting the legacy of original▶ 1:28:47

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill SimmonsMultiple research facts: Marshall Teague's mom's reaction at premiere, actors did own stunts, Sam Elliott quote about getting beat up, Benny the Jet trained them, monster truck was Bigfoot No. 7 costing $500k, Swayze smoked 60 cigarettes a day▶ 1:30:35
Chris RyanProposed creating 'I used to fuck guys like you in prison award' for best memory hole - lines you forget between viewings that shock you when rewatching▶ 1:30:47
Kyle BrandtSwayze was a very good high school quarterback with knee injury, compares him to Jake Plummer/Rich Gannon style scrambler with moxie and accuracy▶ 1:31:42

What's Aged the Worst

Bill SimmonsDoesn't disagree with the smoking issue but instead praises Dalton as a 'Hall of Fame movie smoker' and discusses his smoking technique▶ 1:34:01
Chris RyanAcknowledges Kyle's point but suggests the smoking might be justified by Dalton being in constant pain and having demons to feed▶ 1:33:50
Kyle BrandtDalton being a mind/body/soul wellness guy who doesn't fly and drinks coffee at the bar, yet smokes Marlboro Reds constantly - the contradiction doesn't fit his character▶ 1:33:33

Is This Movie Better With

Bill SimmonsAgrees they needed Byron Mayo, continues the threesome scenario▶ 1:48:58
Chris RyanByron Mayo should play Emmett and appear during the first sex scene between Clay and Dalton, suggesting a threesome▶ 1:48:34

Just One Oscar

Bill SimmonsBen GazzaraBen Gazzara for Best Supporting Actor as Brad Wesley▶ 1:49:27
Chris RyanStunt coordinator (acknowledging they don't give this as an Oscar)▶ 1:49:16
Kyle BrandtBen GazzaraAgreed with Bill's Ben Gazzara pick and discussed the Oscar clip would be the breakfast scene▶ 1:49:41

Best Double Feature

Chris RyanRolling ThunderRolling Thunder - 1970s grindhouse movie about Vietnam vet taking revenge▶ 1:54:34
Kyle BrandtGladiatorGladiator (1992, directed by Rowdy Harrington) - would do a Rowdy Harrington double feature▶ 1:54:04

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Bill SimmonsPain don't hurt / Nobody wins in a fight / Be nice until it's time to not be nice▶ 1:57:20

Movies Referenced (49)

Title (year)LinksMentionsMentioned byFirst
Dirty Dancing (1987)IMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons▶ 5:59
Blade (1998)IMDb ↗Lb ↗6Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 39:13
Point Break (1991)IMDb ↗Lb ↗6Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 8:41
Die Hard (1988)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Kyle Brandt, Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 16:37
Good Time (2017)IMDb ↗Lb ↗4Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Chris Ryan▶ 22:38
Gladiator (2000)IMDb ↗Lb ↗3Kyle Brandt▶ 1:54:04
Apocalypse Now (1979)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan▶ 1:10:43
Fargo (1996)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:47
Predator (1987)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 1:25:13
Shooter (2007)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 54:07
The Fugitive (1993)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 1:10:56
They Live (1988)IMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 1:12:43

Directors Referenced (6)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Gary HudsonIMDb ↗Lb ↗3Bill Simmons, Chris RyanRoad House▶ 1:26:37
John CassavetesIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris Ryan, Bill SimmonsRosemary's Baby▶ 21:48
Clint EastwoodIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsMillion Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, Unforgiven▶ 54:49
John CarpenterIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanHalloween▶ 8:08
Michael BayIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris RyanArmageddon▶ 1:28:41
Walter HillIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons48 Hrs., Aliens▶ 57:25

Actors Referenced (85)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Patrick SwayzeIMDb ↗Lb ↗45Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle BrandtDirty Dancing, Ghost, Point Break▶ 2:18
Terry FunkIMDb ↗Lb ↗16Bill Simmons, Kyle BrandtRoad House, Over the Top▶ 33:03
Kelly LynchIMDb ↗Lb ↗15Bill Simmons, Kyle BrandtRoad House, Charlie's Angels▶ 3:06
Ben GazzaraIMDb ↗Lb ↗12Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle BrandtRoad House, Anatomy of a Murder, The Big Lebowski▶ 21:09
Sam ElliottIMDb ↗Lb ↗10Bill Simmons, Chris RyanA Star Is Born, Hulk▶ 56:00
Keith DavidIMDb ↗Lb ↗8Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle BrandtThey Live, Armageddon▶ 1:12:19
Dawn CicconeIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons, Chris RyanRoad House▶ 5:59
Jake GyllenhaalIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons, Chris RyanNightcrawler, Brokeback Mountain, Donnie Darko▶ 37:31
James MarshallIMDb ↗Lb ↗7Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Chris RyanA Few Good Men▶ 42:13
Mike TysonIMDb ↗Lb ↗6Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt, Bill SimmonsThe Hangover▶ 50:47
Annette BeningIMDb ↗Lb ↗5Bill Simmons, Chris RyanAmerican Beauty, 20th Century Women▶ 1:23:31
Jake BuseyIMDb ↗Lb ↗5Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Kyle BrandtStarship Troopers▶ 1:17:22

Writers Referenced (9)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Jim HarrisonIMDb ↗Lb ↗11Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Kyle BrandtLegends of the Fall▶ 14:10
David MametIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons, Chris RyanHouse of Games▶ 37:26
Julie SiegeIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Kyle Brandt▶ 32:07
Roger EbertIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Bill Simmons▶ 28:12
Andy GreenwaldIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 0:13
Cormac McCarthyIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Kyle BrandtNo Country for Old Men▶ 1:38:41
Jackie FilesIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill Simmons▶ 1:24:11
Philip RothIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Chris Ryan▶ 32:29
Qui NguyenIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Kyle Brandt▶ 54:43

Cinematographers Referenced (3)

NameLinksMentionsMentioned byKnown ForFirst
Dean CundeyIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris RyanJurassic Park, Apollo 13, Who Framed Roger Rabbit▶ 8:08
Frank BooneIMDb ↗Lb ↗2Chris RyanThe Hunger Games, War of the Worlds▶ 1:29:47
Michael GrantlandIMDb ↗Lb ↗1Bill SimmonsThe Other Guys▶ 27:49