‘Under Siege’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
December 25, 2023 · Under Siege (1992) · Action · Thriller · 1:52:31 · ▶ Listen on Spotify
Categories
Picking Nits
Bill SimmonsNobody lands a punch on Seagal the whole movie - he never takes any damage in fights, which is unrealistic▶ 12:57
Kyle BrandtSeagal doesn't do his signature ponytail or arm-snapping move in this movie, which are his trademarks▶ 12:33
Most Rewatchable Scene
Bill SimmonsMultiple scenes: Seagal moving through ship with people hanging on his words, the galley scene with Busey spitting in bouillabaisse and Seagal punching him, the big shootout with Tommy Lee in leather jacket and Busey in drag, Seagal's escape scene lowering from ceiling, the moment where Seagal covers the dead captain's body, and Tommy Lee's 'welcome to the revolution' speech▶ 33:30
Kyle BrandtAgrees with Bill's picks and discusses the same scenes, particularly emphasizing Busey spitting in the pot as disgusting and effective villain move, the strangeness of the drag sequence, and the cinematic effectiveness of the ceiling drop scene▶ 34:14
What's Aged the Best
Bill SimmonsMean villains, historical elements about USS Missouri and Pearl Harbor, no Seagal ponytail, great dialogue lines like 'wake up the president', Bernie Casey's presence, Seagal's blowtorch outfit scene, and the Jimi Hendrix 'Voodoo Child' needle drop▶ 1:01:49
Kyle BrandtDesert Storm references, terrorists having fun while conducting their operation, Navy Whites uniforms making everyone look handsome, and the Jimi Hendrix 'Voodoo Child' needle drop scene▶ 1:02:17
Big Kahuna Burger Award
Bill SimmonsSuggests Booyah Base and the Busey Lugie, but ultimately agrees with the Ryback menu (pasta Rybackia and related items)▶ 1:09:45
Probably Unanswerable Questions
Bill SimmonsQuestions the cooking authenticity - De Niro studied for six months but we never see him actually cooking, and finds the bouillabaisse choice odd for sailors▶ 1:13:02
Butch's Girlfriend Award
Bill SimmonsThe June 1989 Playboy Playmate character who jumps out of a cake, accidentally drugs herself, then becomes part of a counter-military coup▶ 1:13:36
Kyle BrandtSeagal being benched for too long - stuck in the refrigerator for the entire second quarter of the movie when audiences want to see him kick ass▶ 1:14:30
Is There a Better Title?
Bill SimmonsMentions 'Dreadnought' as alternative, rejects 'Last to Surrender' but eventually warms to 'The Last to Surrender'▶ 1:18:00
Kyle BrandtFocused on the trailer formula requirement rather than specific titles, accepts 'Last to Surrender' if it works in trailer format▶ 1:18:34
Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Bill SimmonsTommy Lee Jones plays the exact same character in Under Siege and The Fugitive - just one has good intentions and the other has bad intentions▶ 1:21:14
Kyle BrandtThe Fugitive would have been a better movie if Steven Seagal played Dr. Richard Kimball instead of Harrison Ford▶ 1:19:59
Casting What-Ifs
Bill SimmonsDuane Davis — Dwayne Davis as Alvin Mack from The Program - calls him 'the definitive winner' for best 'that guy' actor▶ 1:24:11
Kyle BrandtDuane Davis — Dwayne Davis as Alvin Mack - agrees this is the winner, praising him as 'one of the great football characters'▶ 1:24:48
Dion Waiters Award
Kyle BrandtThe soldier in the war room who delivers the line 'approximately one million people will reach 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit in less than a second'▶ 1:25:21
Joey Pants Award
Bill SimmonsSamuel L. Jackson — Previously picked a third party actor, then discusses replacing Busey with Samuel L. Jackson and expresses approval for that casting choice▶ 1:26:00
Kyle BrandtSamuel L. Jackson — Made the case for Busey earlier, agrees Samuel L. Jackson would work in the role but notes Jackson wouldn't do the cross-dressing scene▶ 1:27:01
Half-Assed Internet Research
Bill SimmonsPresents multiple trivia facts: Erica Lineak's first role was kissing Elliott in E.T., they used USS Alabama instead of USS Missouri and shot in Mobile, budget was reduced from $100M to $30M, Seagal suggested Pearl Harbor Memorial location, and Harrison Ford agreed to do The Fugitive after seeing Under Siege rough cut▶ 1:27:16
Kyle BrandtMakes brief commentary wondering how much of the Under Siege rough cut Harrison Ford actually watched before agreeing to The Fugitive▶ 1:28:39
Apex Mountain
Bill SimmonsSteven Seagal — Under Siege for Seagal, Titanic for boat movies, Under Siege for Erika Eleniak, 1989 Playboy issue for her overall, NWO over Under Siege for Hulk Hogan, and Clemenza from The Godfather for movie cooks▶ 1:29:11
Kyle BrandtSteven Seagal — Under Siege for Seagal, Buddy Holly Story as Busey's 'rock star moment' but agrees 91-92 period including Point Break/The Firm/Under Siege was his peak, and Casey Ryback from Under Siege for movie cooks who can fight▶ 1:29:16
Is This Movie Better With
Bill SimmonsPhilip Baker Hall — Philip Baker Hall as the captain would have been a huge improvement▶ 1:37:55
Who Won the Movie
Bill SimmonsTommy Lee Jones — Agreed with Kyle's Tommy Lee Jones pick, noting he played the same character in both movies▶ 1:45:19
Kyle BrandtTommy Lee Jones — Tommy Lee Jones - got his role in The Fugitive from this, got the Oscar, and still doing insurance commercials making $2 million for an hour's work▶ 1:45:04
Movies Referenced (51)
| Title (year) | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Fugitive (1993) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 25 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | ▶ 4:26 |
| Air Force One (1997) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | ▶ 42:26 |
| Battleship (2012) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | ▶ 9:41 |
| Chef (2014) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | ▶ 8:08 |
| Pearl Harbor (2001) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 41:31 |
| Point Break (1991) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | ▶ 22:18 |
| Den of Thieves (2018) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 1:10:07 |
| Die Hard (1988) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 6:32 |
| Halloween (1978) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Kyle Brandt | ▶ 1:43:11 |
| Home Alone (1990) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Kyle Brandt | ▶ 1:13:59 |
| Sideways (2004) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | ▶ 10:46 |
| The Menu (2022) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | ▶ 9:09 |
Directors Referenced (6)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andrew Davis | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 7 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | The Fugitive, Under Siege | ▶ 4:21 |
| Charles Nichols | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | ▶ 25:10 | |
| Hannah Fay Foligno | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Kyle Brandt | Wicked, Oppenheimer | ▶ 17:47 |
| Clint Eastwood | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | Million Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, Unforgiven | ▶ 6:13 |
| Felipe Fernández del Paso | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado | ▶ 10:03 |
| Mel Gibson | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Kyle Brandt | Braveheart, Lethal Weapon 3, Conspiracy Theory | ▶ 1:17:35 |
Actors Referenced (73)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Steven Seagal | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 210 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | Under Siege 2: Dark Territory | ▶ 2:14 |
| Gary Busey | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 32 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | Lethal Weapon, Point Break | ▶ 22:08 |
| Tommy Lee Jones | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 21 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | The Fugitive, No Country for Old Men | ▶ 2:20 |
| Steve Buscemi | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 8 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | Fargo, Reservoir Dogs | ▶ 39:18 |
| Joshua David Whites | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 7 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | ▶ 1:06:15 | |
| Richard Gere | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons | Pretty Woman, An Officer and a Gentleman | ▶ 1:06:22 |
| Harrison Ford | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 5 | Bill Simmons | Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, The Fugitive | ▶ 22:30 |
| Scott Glenn | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 5 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | The Hunt for Red October, Sucker Punch, The Bourne Legacy | ▶ 19:49 |
| Draymond Green | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 9:23 | |
| Gary Oldman | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Kyle Brandt | Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Dark Knight, Darkest Hour | ▶ 42:26 |
| George Foreman | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | The Fighter | ▶ 6:19 |
| Philip Baker Hall | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | Magnolia, Boogie Nights | ▶ 1:37:47 |
Writers Referenced (5)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Julie Siege | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 32 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | ▶ 2:02 | |
| Tommy Lee | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 29 | Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt | Vanilla Sky | ▶ 8:59 |
| Danny McBride | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | Underworld | ▶ 1:15:01 |
| J.F. Lawton | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | Pretty Woman, Under Siege | ▶ 28:33 |
| Buddy Holly | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | Big Fish, Almost Famous | ▶ 1:29:59 |
Cinematographers Referenced (1)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ian Clampett | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | Battleship, Deja Vu | ▶ 28:18 |