‘Varsity Blues’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion, and Mallory Rubin
February 3, 2018 · Varsity Blues (1999) · Comedy · Drama · Romance · 52:50 · ▶ Listen on Spotify
Categories
Dion Waiters Award
Bill SimmonsScott Caan — Agrees with Ali Larter but highlights Scott Caan as Tweeter as worthy, saying he could have been spun off into his own sitcom▶ 12:55
Jason ConcepcionAli Larter — Agrees with Ali Larter choice and discusses her memorable scenes extensively▶ 11:13
Mallory RubinAli Larter — Ali Larter - 'What is a bigger heat check than the whipped cream bikini? Nothing.'▶ 11:09
Most Rewatchable Scene
Bill SimmonsLists multiple nominees but settles on the locker room fight scene where the team turns on Coach Kilmer▶ 15:20
Overacting Award
Jason ConcepcionCommented on the tough Texas accents in the movie and participated in reenacting scenes but didn't give a specific pick▶ 15:57
Shea SerranoDiscussed Paul Walker's thick Texas accent in early scenes and participated in reenacting the father-son scene but didn't give a clear pick▶ 16:02
What's Aged the Worst
Mallory RubinConcussion protocol - specifically how the 'smart' character Mox thinks true/false questions are an effective concussion test▶ 27:45
Shea SerranoTweeter character - particularly his song lyric about breaking a girl's jaw and multiple problematic elements▶ 28:26
Half-Assed Internet Research
Bill SimmonsPresents various trivia facts including 40% Rotten Tomatoes rating, Roger Ebert's criticism lacks merit, James Van Der Beek won Teen Choice and MTV Movie Awards, shaving cream was used instead of whipped cream for Ali Larter, Billy Bob tore his patella tendon during filming, Mox wore #4 because Van Der Beek's favorite player was Brett Favre, and confirms you can steal police cars in Texas towns▶ 30:39
Mallory RubinCorrects Bill's trivia by stating Billy Bob was 47 when he died, not 38 during filming▶ 32:37
Shea SerranoQuestions whether whipped cream sticking issue is specific to Ali Larter, shares personal football story about deliberately not catching a pass in seventh grade, and confirms there are Texas towns where you could get away with stealing police cars▶ 33:59
Apex Mountain
Bill SimmonsJames Van Der Beek — Yes for James Van Der Beek (Dawson's Creek + Teen Choice/MTV awards), No for Scott Caan (Hawaii Five-0 later), No for Ali Larter (Final Destination/Heroes later), No for John Voight (Oscar winner), Yes for Billy Bob Thornton, No for Paul Walker (Fast & Furious later)▶ 34:13
Jason ConcepcionJames Van Der Beek — No for James Van Der Beek - his meme career was more impactful than this period▶ 34:23
Mallory RubinJames Van Der Beek — No for James Van Der Beek - the later Dawson's Creek years were his apex▶ 34:31
Shea SerranoJon Voight — No for Ali Larter (Final Destination/fighting Beyoncé/Heroes later), Yes for John Voight jokingly (Anaconda as apex), praised Paul Walker's performance in this movie▶ 34:59
Best Quote
Bill SimmonsMultiple quotes including 'I'm back', 'Puke and rally', 'I usually fall for the whipped cream bikini every time', 'Your daddy was a no-town pussy, but at least he listened', and 'We've got the rest of our lives to be mediocre. We have the rest of this half to be gods'▶ 41:25
Mallory RubinThe series of euphemisms for male arousal: 'Pitching a tent. Sporting wood. The icicle is formed. The march is on. Stiff... Rigor mortis is set in. Mr. Mushroom Head... Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger'▶ 42:46
Shea SerranoDiscussed the context and impact of the 'rest of our lives to be mediocre' speech but didn't offer a specific alternative quote pick▶ 42:21
Probably Unanswerable Questions
Jason ConcepcionCoach Kilmer never coached again - Yes, believes it in the fictional universe because he was outed as a white supremacist▶ 44:33
Mallory RubinCoach Kilmer never coached again - No, doesn't believe player rebellion would prevent him getting another job, but his poor record (only 2 titles in 30 years) would▶ 44:42
Shea SerranoCoach Kilmer is still coaching - went two towns over and nobody knew because this was 1999 without internet▶ 44:58
Who Won the Movie
Shea SerranoJames Van Der Beek — Vanderbeek - agrees he's surprisingly good, charming, confident, and talented▶ 47:31
Movies Referenced (23)
| Title (year) | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Friday Night Lights (2004) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 9 | Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Mallory Rubin | ▶ 1:04 |
| American Pie (1999) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Mallory Rubin | ▶ 3:53 |
| Crank (2006) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 9:02 |
| The Father (2020) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Jason Concepcion, Bill Simmons | ▶ 17:03 |
| Valentine's Day (2010) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 0:49 |
| 2012 (2009) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 21:57 |
| Any Given Sunday (1999) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 2:23 |
| Can't Hardly Wait (1998) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 2:35 |
| Cube (1997) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 35:25 |
| Do the Right Thing (1989) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | ▶ 1:42 | |
| For Love of the Game (1999) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 2:23 |
| Good Time (2017) | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Shea Serrano | ▶ 46:15 |
Directors Referenced (2)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Brian Robbins | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 24:01 | |
| Scott Conn | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | Predators, Machete | ▶ 12:55 |
Actors Referenced (33)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| James Van Der Beek | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 16 | Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion, Shea Serrano | Varsity Blues, The Rules of Attraction | ▶ 1:51 |
| Paul Walker | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 14 | Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons | The Fast and the Furious, Furious 7, Running Scared | ▶ 4:47 |
| Geoffrey Larder | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 11 | Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion | ▶ 4:14 | |
| Amy Smart | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 6 | Bill Simmons | Starship Troopers, Crank, Rat Race | ▶ 8:48 |
| Mark Ruffalo | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 4 | Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin | Spotlight, The Kids Are All Right, The Avengers | ▶ 15:28 |
| Danny Trejo | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons | Machete, From Dusk Till Dawn, Predators | ▶ 40:52 |
| Jon Voight | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion | Midnight Cowboy, Anaconda, Deliverance | ▶ 6:24 |
| Smash Mouth | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 3 | Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano | Wild Things | ▶ 49:39 |
| Billy Zane | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | Titanic | ▶ 6:42 |
| Charlie Sheen | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | Wall Street | ▶ 8:24 |
| Collective Soul | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons | Twilight | ▶ 22:55 |
| The Game | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 2 | Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin | Street Kings, The A-Team, Coach Carter | ▶ 2:23 |
Writers Referenced (2)
| Name | Links | Mentions | Mentioned by | Known For | First |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jason Street | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 5 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 49:39 | |
| Roger Ebert | IMDb ↗Lb ↗ | 1 | Bill Simmons | ▶ 30:56 |